Long Hollow

The first Father’s Day…

June 15, 2014

Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.

~Gloria Naylor

For the first Father's Day in years and years, I don't have a phone call or road trip to make. Tom and I have both lost our dads, and, well, I have kind of a lost feeling today.

I'm glad I took the time the last few Father's Days to travel to Houston so I could spend the day with Daddy, and be sure he knew how grateful I am that God allowed me to be his daughter. The photo above was taken last year. In my heart I knew it was probably the last Father's Day I'd spend with him.

I didn't get to see Pop as often, but we talked a lot on the phone, especially the last year of his life. I'm sure he, too, knew how grateful I am that God allowed me to become his daughter through marriage. I didn't realize the photo above would be the last one I took of him.

This year I focused on Tom … on getting a plan in place to celebrate him, so he knows how grateful I am that he's the father of my children. It was low-key, the way he wanted it. Just us, the kids, and my mom enjoying hamburgers fresh off the grill.

And all around us, the memory of two other very special fathers.

The greatest gift I ever had
Came from God; I call him Dad!
~Author Unknown
A Sweet Blur

June 10, 2014

Last Friday I made a quick road trip to Houston to take care of some business for my mom. My friend Debra graciously opened her home in Seabrook to me and TG for the night.

On our way to meet friends for dinner, I was mesmerized by the sunlight bathing pastel houses…the cloudless sky…the gulls swooping and singing…

Tension melted away.

I came to just in time to snap this photo over my shoulder and out of the passenger window. I'm pleasantly surprised it came out as well as it did, considering it was an afterthought.

Sometimes gathering my sweet!s is a lot like this photo, a blurry afterthought.

The beginning of last week was especially blurry. The days were so similar that I'm lumping Monday through Thursday all together.

There were walks with my puppies, new listings, classes and trainings via phone and webinars, watching "Ellen" with my mom, and the first blooms of the Mountain Pinks…

By the weekend, everything became clearer…

Friday: a road trip with your daughter; Panda Express fortunes; sunset on a watertown; the song of seagulls; Mexican food and margaritas with dear friends

Saturday: sorting through decades of memories with your sister and daughter; a visit with a dear friend; the way you can count on finding a Subway sandwich shop in whatever little town you're passing through; the movie "Happy Feet", especially when shared with your son and daughter

Sunday: waking without an alarm clock; Mass with your son; your husband cleaning all of the travel bugs off of your windshield; "Game of Thrones" with your kids; your advice about being a mother-in-law included in a friend's Huffington post article

Monday: window-screen-cleaning squirrels; dreaming of helping a client buy a million dollar property; a son who stops to visit his grandmother on his way home from work; getting another new listing

Tuesday: glorious, cool summer mornings; winning a door prize; property tours; catching up with friends; a call from a friend asking for your help in finding a home for her dad; the generous and helpful spirit of colleagues; a wiggly puppy happy to see you home

There are whole years for which I hope I'll never be cross-examined, for I could not give an alibi.

~Mignon McLaughlin

Time to slow down, focus, pay attention to and give thanks for each and every moment.

(Don't forget to add your sweet!s in the comments!)
They made it home! (plus a few belated sweet!s)

June 1, 2014

Tom and his brother straggled in later than expected from Florida this evening. They had to spend an extra four hours in Louisiana due to the muffler on Tom's car trying to make a break for it.

It didn't succeed in getting totally away, but it did break loose of whatever major part it's supposed to stay connected to. (I am not a mechanic and don't pretend to be one!)

Thank goodness they are both McGyvers (as my sister-in-law puts it) so they diagnosed and treated the problem themselves, and continued on their way to Texas.

They were a sweet sight, stepping through the door this evening, that's for sure!

While they were working on the car, I was working to help a friend get a home she fell in love with, despite us getting to the party late and having to rush through the application process.

The house had already been on the market 5 whole days, enough time to collect multiple offers within 30 minutes of our viewing. But I convinced the other agent to delay their decision, scrambled and submitted our offer through our paperless system, only to get an email from the agent three hours later saying she had been unable to open the offer, and perhaps next time I should send it as a PDF attachment.

It wasn't something I had considered before; up until now, no one has had a problem opening the documents I sent through that system. But I'll definitely take the advice. I only wish she had let me know right away so I could have emailed them.

But I consider it a lesson learned, and even though my friend most likely lost her chance at this house because the agent couldn't open the documents, I believe it just wasn't "meant to be" as one of my other buyer clients kept saying…until she finally did find and buy her dream house.

That was pretty sweet…and I'll trust in a sweet home-buying ending for my friend, too. We'll keep searching and I'm sure the right one will appear for her.

Meanwhile, here are some other sweet!s from the past week and a half. Be sure to add yours in the comments!

Thursday: graduations and trophies

Friday: making time to run for the first time in a long while; nurses who care about your mom; a quick visit with your brother-in-law

Saturday: sleeping in; your real estate seeds beginning to bloom; turning door-knocking solicitors into leads; your husband and his brother arriving in Florida, safe and sound; "The Lego Movie"

Sunday: a field of Mexican hats; First Communicants; meeting your new neighbors; talking your kids into watching "Saving Mr. Banks"

Monday: rain, rain, rain, breaking long enough to take your puppies for a walk and go visit your mom; getting your new neighbors' puppies home safe when they've escaped to explore the neighborhood; watching "Mary Poppins" after watching "Saving Mr. Banks"

Tuesday: taking on the challenge of a new long-term class; finally finishing the editing of the photos of your friend's grandchildren you took a few weeks ago

Wednesday: meeting with a dear friend to help her become a homeowner; meeting new people and exploring a beautiful home

Thursday: learning about historic homes; finally visiting Hill's Cafe; a quick visit with your son, daughter-in-law, and grandpuppy

Friday: visiting with neighbors; your daughter making sure you stay awake through a movie

Saturday: potential buyers calling from one of your yard signs; birthday parties that include live music wonderful friends, and a wine tasting; a phone conversation with your mother-in-law on her birthday

Sunday: a morning walk before Mass; high school seniors, ready to take on the world; trying to help a dear friend buy a home she loves; your husband and his brother making it home from their Florida adventure, safe and sound

I hope no matter what is going on in your life, you're able to spot some sweetness in what first seems to be unbearably sour circumstances!

Just remember…
Happy birthday to the best mother-in-law in the world…

May 31, 2014

Tom and I were driving up to Maryland for the first time so I could meet his family and childhood friends before our wedding. It was my first time in Tennessee, the Carolinas and all of those other states between Texas and Maryland.

What a fabulous trip – seeing the sunrise just outside of Nashville, driving through the Smokies, the Blue Ridge, and the Shenandoah Mountains, seeing the lights of Washington D.C.

But I think it was soon after we crossed the Virginia state line that I started scavenging for food in the car – I was getting really nervous about meeting his family, and that's one thing I do when I'm nervous. Eat.

When I ran out of food, I pulled out my "practice" photo, the one of Tom and all of his eight brothers – yes, I said "eight" – taken at a recent wedding, and started testing myself on the names. Thank goodness I'd only be meeting five on this trip.

I was mostly nervous about meeting his mom. I would be the first non-Catholic daughter-in-law! We had written back and forth and she seemed to like me, but I couldn't keep those worries out of my head.

Now I can't believe I was ever nervous. Mom welcomed me with open arms and her beautiful bright smile. She and Pop treated me like their own daughter from the very start.

Over the years, I've seen and heard tales of horrible mother-in-laws, and I realize how very lucky I am…not only did I snag the best husband ever, but he came wrapped in a package with this fabulous woman.

She raised nine boys into nine good men without losing her sense of humor, sense of self, and sense of fun. She's the kind of mother-in-law who was quite willing to turn the care of her sons over to their wives, thank-you-very-much. There was never any kind of test to see if I was "good enough" for Tom – as long as he loved me and thought I was the right one, she did, too.

She's always been quick to help and quick with advice…when asked. I've learned by watching her and my own mother how to generously give of myself to my family and my community, but ensure I retain something for myself.

Today is Mom's birthday. Tom is with her. He's been there all week, along with Steve, the Arizona brother, alternating between painting and playing cards, depending on the rain. She raised good sons.

I wish I could have been with her, rather than just sending my happy birthday wishes over the phone… and in a slightly altered blog repost. Maybe next year.

But the wishes are true whether given in person or over the phone, for showers of birthday blessings in the coming year.

I love you, Mom!

With mom and my Shallue sisters a few years ago – she made us all family.

Dancing with son #2 at "The. Most. Beautiful. Wedding. Ever." last year.

With the first seven.

I really can't even imagine this, can you? Those two imps on the far right are the ones who have been busy painting this past week.
Memorial Day…memories and gratitude

May 26, 2014

Thanks to you…

…I slept in a little this morning, until the impatient sunlight pestered me awake.

…I walked with the dogs along a country road, safe and free.

…I'll spend time with my family, maybe play some ping-pong with my kids or watch a movie.

Thanks to you…

…I grew up in a country where I (mostly) make my own choices.

…I live in a land where my dreams are limited only by my own lack of creativity, ambition and drive.

…my children face a future where almost anything is possible.

…I'm free to live my life because you gave your own.

I promise I won't forget. I promise I won't take it for granted.

I promise your sacrifice won't be wasted on me.

I wrote that post a few years ago, but it sums up my feelings so well, I wanted to share it again.

Memorial Day always triggers a little extra gratitude in me for a completely different reason, so here's another slightly-altered repost…

We spent that Memorial Day in 1998 with our kids and other families, swimming in a cold river, eating fresh pineapple, grilling burgers. That night we laughed and danced to Johnny Dee and the Rocket '88s.

Then a phone call early on Tuesday morning made me realize how much I had been taking for granted and how quickly life can change directions.

That Tuesday was sixteen years ago today, but at times it feels like yesterday. Tom left for work, expecting it to be like any other day, but it wasn't. He didn't expect the other car to come into his lane, didn't expect to spend a week in the hospital or the summer trying to heal and recover instead of building our home. He didn't expect to live with pain for the next sixteen years.

But that's what happened, whether he expected it or not. And the thing is, we got through it. We built our home… not that summer, but there were other summers… and I'm grateful for that.

We've spent more days swimming in cold water with family and friends, and evenings laughing and dancing. I don't think a day goes by when Tom isn't in some degree of pain, but somehow he moves on and doesn't let it stop him from doing what he needs, or wants, to do.

It wasn't the last unexpected detour in our road we've encountered, and I'm sure there are more waiting for us. I can't say I'm grateful it happened. I'd love to tell you something positive that came from it, but honestly, I haven't been able to see that ray of light yet. Perhaps it's shining where I can't see it. I can only hope so.

But life is just too short for grudges and regrets that burn holes in your heart, for dwelling on the past or the future so long that you miss your today.

It's too short not to pursue your passion even if you only have a few seconds free each day to do it.

Too short to sit back and wait for things to happen, or for someone else to do it, or to make excuses.

Too short not to love with your whole heart, leaving no room for pride or selfishness, always trying to understand, listen, forgive, and ask forgiveness.

Too short not to take care of yourself and those you love.

Life is just too short, period, and too wonderful to take for granted.

Happy 16th anniversary of a second chance, Tom. I love you!

(I've spared you the most graphic images of Tom. His face was split open. You're welcome. I took notes during those long days and turned them into an essay… "In the Aftermath of a Car Crash" )

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

~Gladys Bronwyn Stern

What are you grateful for?
Aim High, Act Bold, and Live Large! (Graduation Day!)

May 23, 2014

"…Life's battles don't always go

To the stronger or faster man.

But sooner or later, the man who wins

Is the man who thinks he can."

From "The Victor" by C.W. Longnecker

Yesterday, at long last, with "Pomp and Circumstance" playing in the background, my name was called.

I walked to the waiting dignitaries, shook hands, hugged, accepted my "diploma" and took my place with the other graduates.

It was BOLD graduation day! Whoo-hoo!!

These are just the graduates from my market center…only about half of the total graduates.

I've spent every Thursday for the past seven weeks with an awesome group of people who shared a common goal of moving their real estate business to the next level. I was a proud member of the BOLD Avengers, competing against other teams in various Realtor events.

But Keller William's BOLD program ("Business Objective: Life by Design) turned out to be much more than just a real estate training class. Many of my classmates were taking BOLD for the third, fourth, or fifth time. For a few, this was their tenth time through the program, because each time it helps you to a new level of thinking and business.

It's Positive Thinking on steroids. It's learning to be responsible for the choices you make…and to make choices that direct you to the life you envision for yourself, rather than accepting the default version.

If you've read my blog for long, you know I'm a positive thinker, looking ahead instead of behind as I hit hurdles and have to put my other passions on a shelf… my books and screenplays, blogging, photography…

You patiently tag along, offering encouragement and support.

That's what BOLD is… a huge support system that moves you past your fears and self-doubts… only up-close and personal, with greater challenges, bigger goals, and practical tools.

So when, during the second week of the class, my mom was rushed to the hospital and ultimately had her gall bladder removed, I still achieved my weekly goals by keeping my "attention" on my "intention". No excuses. This is my business.

It's true: You can have a life by design, or by default. It's your choice.

"Aim high, act bold, and live large."

And now it's on to more growth and knowledge: I start a new weekly training on Tuesday…
Hello, Frio…and other sweet!s of the past week

May 21, 2014

I spent a long, lazy weekend with friends I've known since high school (several much longer than that)… just lying around a pool, eating, drinking, talking about our health issues, our parent issues, and whatever other issues happened to be on our minds.

(Hence, I learned a whole lot about the benefits of extra virgin coconut oil! Apparently it cures just about everything!)

We took morning walks through the rural neighborhood, explored junk shops in town, and danced on the back porch when the sun went down.

It was absolutely just what I needed… but would you believe I almost backed out, thinking I had way too much work to do?

The call of the Frio River turned out to be louder than the call of responsibility.

I fell in love with the sight, smell, and feel of it the first time I visited Garner State Park more than four decades ago, and couldn't resist the chance to dip my toes in its frigid waters once again.

I've only been back once since high school, and I knew I may never get another opportunity.

Of course, time with my girlfriends is always precious. News that another one of our classmates passed away this week reminded me that I'm not guaranteed other chances to spend time with them, either.

It was a weekend full of sweet moments to treasure, and even though it had me playing catch-up ever since (posting my Sunday Sweet!s on Wednesday!), I know I made the right decision.

Here are some other sweet!s from this past week…

Monday: the sound of rain outside your window as you work; rain that lasts all day and night

Tuesday: glorious, cool clear-sky mornings; your puppy waiting patiently outside your French doors for a glimpse of you; raindrops glistening in the woods like jewels; free pizza when you're really hungry

Wednesday: motivated clients; listening to interesting people; a haircut when you really, really need it; finding out about the Christ Child Society; fundraising dinners with fun ladies, margaritas, live bands, and dancing

Thursday: your husband celebrating another birthday; listening to an expert in your field give away his secrets; lunch on the patio at Kerbey Lane with friends/colleagues

Friday: a road trip with a friend; relaxing by a pool with friends, feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin; remembering to pack your sunscreen and hat for a weekend by a pool

Saturday: the sight, smell, and feel of the Frio River; the way just the smell of a river can take you back a few decades to your youth, to dances under the stars and summer love; exploring junk stores with friends; spending an afternoon being lazy around a pool; dancing on a porch with friends on a beautiful night; unexpected jewelry orders

Sunday: baby deer; your friend's Prius, because it only used 1/4 tank of gas on a road trip; getting back to eating healthy after a weekend of sweets, dips, and carbs

Monday: spotting a spider web across your path before you walk right into it; picking up a new client; helping women find closure after the loss of a friend; a client referral from your son

Tuesday: property tours that take you from Lake Travis and the hill country to downtown Austin; Panera Bread's Asiago Steak Sandwich; therapeutic and educational discussions with colleagues; referrals from friends; double fortune cookie inspiration; a request to photograph a wedding

Wednesday: watching the sun break through morning clouds; hanging out in your office, working, venting, and learning from colleagues; saying thanks to your team leader with a big send-off party; seeing a friend you haven't seen in a long time; discussing men and marriage with your mom and her friends

I hope you all have an awesome week! Share your sweet!s in the comments!

“May what I do flow from me like a river, no forcing and no holding back, the way it is with children.”

~Rainer Maria Rilke
Grateful for #57

May 15, 2014

This adorable, freckle-faced, blue-eyed boy turned 57 today. Can you believe it?

If you've read much of my blog, you know I never take birthdays for granted, but I'm especially grateful for each one of his we get to celebrate.

I've spent too many hours sitting in hospital waiting rooms praying for him … come too close to losing him too many times. I know there are dozens of close calls I'm not even aware of, times I'm sure his angels kept him from falling off the roof or wrecking the backhoe, the motorcycle, the car …

And then there's his heart, the time bomb in his chest that he inherited from his grandpa. The grandpa who died of a heart attack at 56. The father of Tom's aunts who died from heart attacks before their 50th birthdays.

When we were in our twenties, 56 seemed so old. Not so much, anymore…

I'm grateful Tom listens to his body and doesn't hesitate in seeing a doctor when something is wrong. We wouldn't be celebrating his birthday today if he hadn't insisted more than a decade ago that the pain in his chest was more than just a pulled muscle, even though a stress test and EKG said otherwise.

Hallelujah! his wonderful cardiologist listened to him and ordered an arteriogram. She saved his life! An arterial blockage hid in the one spot a stress test couldn't find it. They popped in a stent and sent him on his way – with plenty of prescriptions and requirements for yearly blood work and check-ups, of course.

I support his efforts to take care of himself … to eat right and exercise. I buy the things he should be eating, not ice cream or cookies. I make sure we have plenty of raw fruits and vegetables on hand.

What I wish I could do better is help him with stress. He worries, and not without reason, over finances, retirement, our kids, our cars, our land, our house.

Mostly over finances.

And that's why this post is mostly a repeat of one from a few years ago, because I didn't have time to write a new one. I'm working hard to build my real estate business … to be so successful that Tom's able to stop worrying about finances, once and for all. I knew he'd appreciate me using this time to get another closed transaction than write about him.

(But I couldn't just ignore this special day.)

Now, time to get back to work…

Happy 57th birthday, sweet Tom!

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you."

~A. A. Milne
A Blog Stroll on a Rainy Night

May 13, 2014

I'm sitting here at my computer, relishing the sound of rain just outside my window, and even the occasional growl of thunder and flash of lightning.

Rain is a welcome guest when you've been in a drought as long as we have…when you begin to doubt if your pond was ever full, or if you just imagined it, along with the roar of the little waterfall below your house that seemed to echo the sound of waves on a shore. Music to the ears of this beach-loving girl.

I hope that music has returned to the Hollow by morning.

More than that, I hope this is just the first of a series of summer thunderstorms that will turn nearby rivers back into lakes, and dried-up canyons back into rivers.

And keep the wildflowers blooming…

Rain is also good for reflection, and that's a good thing right now because I was invited to participate in a little blog stroll by my best friend, Annie Lockhart, a soulful artist, writer, and photographer who has always been a source of inspiration to me … a catalyst for my own creativity.

It's because of Annie that I discovered the therapeutic, free-writing joy of blogging, and rediscovered my love of photography. She's also a gifted artist. You can see her beautiful work over at Annie Lockhart, soulful painting, and find out about her soulful painting workshops.

Now, let me pour a glass of wine and reflect upon these questions…

1. What am I working on?

That's actually a tough question for me. I'd like to say I'm working on my middle grade novel or my picture book or the historical fiction based on my great-great grandfather's memoir.

But the truth is, they are all gathering virtual dust inside my computer while I focus on building my real estate business and taking care of my family. I've even neglected my blog and photography lately, except for images from my morning walks that rarely get published, a few photography jobs for friends, and my weekly sweet! post.

But if life wasn't see-sawing, it would get awful boring, wouldn't it?

2. How does my work differ from others of its genre?

None of my work – my blog, my writing, my photography, and even my real estate business – conforms to any type of niche. I have no specific genre. I'm an eclectic, through and through.

3. Why do I write/create what I do?

I have no idea. I joke that it's cheap therapy, but the truth is that the process is vital to me, like eating, sleeping, and breathing. It's something that begins as a seed inside of me, but grows and grows and grows until it has to be set free.

4. How does my writing/creating process work?

You'll probably say I'm crazy, but there's a constant voice inside my head, always narrating, experimenting with words, toying with ideas and thoughts. It can be pretty annoying.

My stories come from "what if's", combined with a run-away imagination. I free-write my original ideas as fast as possible, trying not to edit until I've dumped them all out onto the page. Writing can be exhausting and agonizing for me, trying to hear my characters' voices and stay true to their stories.

My photography simply comes from a desire to capture moments in time so I can remember them. I love to share the miracles of life I see around me with others, especially when seen up close and/or at different angles or light.

With writing or photography, I could spend hours editing and tweaking and trying this or that. I'm learning to tell myself, that's enough.

I've met so many talented, creative artists and writers through blogging. I'm happy to introduce you to three of them right now. I met all three while traveling the wonderful world of Blogland, and while I haven't met any of them face-to-face, I call them all friends, just the same, and feel my life is richer for knowing them.

First…

Cyndee Starr is a mixed media artist and obsessive doodler. You can see her work at SheWhoDoodles.com or on Etsy at SheWhoDoodles.

(She turns anything into a work of art with her intricate doodles. Beautiful! I'm lucky to own one of her original doodled shirts.)

Next…

Carol Cassara is a writer, blogger and sometime college professor who lives out loud in Northern California with her crazy dog and very patient husband. She blogs daily at www.carolcassara.com

(I met Carol through a network of midlife writers. She's a gifted writer, but she earned my eternal loyalty when she sent a card to my mom, even though she's never met either one of us in person.)

And last, but certainly, not least, is Jim "Suldog" Sullivan, one of my favorite characters in Blogland. His writing can be irreverant, relevent, insulting, funny, and touching, all at the same time! Catch him at Suldog and the following….

Jim Sullivan is a freelance writer from Watertown, Massachusetts. His work has been published in Discover magazine, Funny Times, the Boston Globe and the Boston Herald, among others. His plan is to win a Pulitzer and a Nobel by 2017 and then spend the rest of his life being insufferably pompous about it.

His latest, in the Boston Herald - http://bostonherald.com/news_opinion/opinion/op_ed/2014/05/sullivan_mom_knew_what_was_best

He has a piece in this month's Discover, also, but you'll have to buy it to read it. Likewise, the upcoming issue of Funny Times will feature his stuff, but it will cost you. And rightly so. It's funny stuff.

Go read them all now, but be sure to catch their posts next Monday when they get to answer all of these questions!
Being a Mom…and sweet!s of the week

May 11, 2014

For most of this day, I sat at my kitchen table, close to all of my kids plus my mom, constantly giving thanks that I could do so.

I can't think of a better way to spend Mother's Day. I am blessed and I know it.

"I got to grow up with a mother who taught me to believe in me." ~ Antonio Villaraigosa

There were so many things I wanted to write posts about this week. But because there were so many things, I didn't have a minute to spare, and those posts didn't get written.

I've consolidated them a little bit here in my sweet!s. It's a great way to remember the good things that happen…and good practice for squeezing sweet! out of something that seemed totally sour at the time.

Tuesday: purple thistle; discovering catered food in the company break room when you're starving; touring the new high school and seeing old friends at the same time; strawberries and blackberries straight out of a friend's garden; a bag of onions to take home

Wednesday: a good morning text from a friend; cactus blossoms; a room filled with love and laughter, celebrating the 20th anniversary of your priest's ordination with friends

Thursday: being part of a company that completely shuts down one day a year to give back to its community by helping a nonprofit business in the area; helping to build a memorial garden in a local no-kill animal shelter (Texas Humane Heroes – so many precious animals waiting to adopted!)

Friday: getting to the other side of the mock listing presentation you've been dreading; puppy kisses; the soreness that comes from physical labor

Saturday: sleeping in, then taking a leisurely walk with your puppies; spotting a fox; clearing away the piles of paperwork that were growing in your office; joining your mom in a Mother's Day reception

Sunday: Mass with your kids and husband; a huge bacon and egg brunch, courtesy of your son; kids who are always willing to help out; spending Mother's Day with your mom and all of your kids; seeing your brother and his wife; a bouquet of yellow and purple flowers from your son and daughter-in-law

To all mothers, in all shapes and forms, I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day weekend.

To those who couldn't be with their mothers this weekend, or with their sons or daughters, remember their love is always with you, inside and out.

“Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.” — Tina Fey

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