Long Hollow

Just Call Me Ironmom

April 29, 2017

Be proud to wear you.

~Dodinsky

Last Saturday my oldest completed an Ironman Triathlon in the Woodlands, Texas.

He was up around 3 am to eat breakfast, left for the competition site at 5 am, and started the swimming portion at 7 am.

Around 14 hours later, he sprinted across the finish line.

In case you're not familiar with Ironman Triathlons, here's a description, courtesy of Wikipedia…

An Ironman Triathlon is one of a series of long-distance triathlon races organized by the World Triathlon Corporation (WTC), consisting of a 2.4-mile (3.86 km) swim, a 112-mile (180.25 km) bicycle ride and a marathon 26.22-mile (42.20 km) run, raced in that order and without a break.

Ugh! Can you imagine?

And yes, he sprinted across the finish line, racing another participant.

Crazy! I was exhausted by that point, just moving from spot to spot to catch a glimpse of him!

Sure enough, there were so many people gathered around the finish line that I couldn't see him. But a friend whose wife is an Ironman (yes- it's gender neutral!) sent me this photo from the finish line video…

Success comes in cans, not cant's.

~Author Unknown

Just watching the Ironman was such a an inspiring experience!

There were thousands participating, as you can see from all the bikes.

You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.

~Michael Jordan

While Tommy is young (31) and the image of fitness (you would never know he battled severe asthma when he was young), it was clear from watching one participant after another pass in front of us that an Ironman isn't defined by age, shape, size, or gender.

I would guess the average age is around 50; one of my high school classmates was participating, although I never spotted him, and there were quite a few participants who were obviously older than I am.

Several who were finishing ahead of Tommy would probably be considered overweight, and assumed to be out of shape. We even spotted two blind participants accompanied by guides. They rode tandem bikes.

While there are some who do this professionally, for most, it's not a race, just a personal goal. What they obviously have in common is something inside that compels them to challenge themselves in this way.

I admit I don't understand it. I'm not even tempted to run a 5K. I'm happy just running/walking with Belle each morning along our dirt road, and will only do another 30 minutes or so on the treadmill or with my weights to keep my heart, lungs, bones, and muscles in shape for however many more years I'm blessed to be here.

But that doesn't stop me from being so proud of Tommy, and so amazed and impressed by his accomplishment.

He made it look so easy, with a smile on his face every time we saw him. I think he was happy the day had finally arrived - he had spent months training for it – and also happy that he was getting closer and closer to having it behind him.

It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.

~Edmund Hillary

Confidence is preparation. Everything else is beyond your control.

~Richard Kline

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

~Henry Stanley Haskins

If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.

~Thomas Edison

I will live the free-hand life — I will rise up at dawn, and with sure, unfaltering faith, create the day. I will come at noon, and with the assurance of a master, paint the heavens. I will come at night, and with the confidence of one who cannot fail, hang a million stars in the sky.

~Muriel Strode (1875–1964), "A Soul's Faring: XLI," A Soul's Faring, 1921

The day started out warm, but ended unseasonably cool. That's probably perfect for a triathlon, where you start out swimming and end up running.

It reminded me of watching him at middle school track meets on spring afternoon/evenings almost two decades ago, first sweating in the bleachers then shivering under blankets by the time the meet was over, long after sunset.

In high school, he switched to running cross country. He rarely placed at the meets, but he earned the spirit award for never giving up.

He told us he started out the swim portion of the Ironman doing the backstroke for 1 1/2 miles. That was his event the one summer he was on the Lago Vista swim team, right after 4th grade.

Oh my gosh, that was a long summer, having to have him (and his two younger siblings, of course) up early and at the pool every morning by 7 am. (Maybe it wasn't every morning, but it seemed like it!) And then every Saturday – every Saturday! – we had to be up and out with the whole gang before sunrise for swim meets that lasted most of the day.

Of course, looking back now I cherish those days, but at the time… whew!

After the first swim meet, Tommy wanted to quit. We told him he couldn't, that he needed to finish the season, but then he would never have to do it again if he didn't want to.

So he finished the season – and never did it again.

I can't say I was sorry at the time, but now I'm grateful for those memories. We bonded with a lot of families who are still our friends today.

Life is weird, isn't it?

Anyway, we didn't always do everything right as parents, but I like to think this is one thing we did do right… impressing on our kids that if they started something, they needed to finish it.

Even so, I know we really can't take credit for the drive and determination it took for Tommy to become an Ironman. To follow through with his training after he signed up and to cross that finish line.

I do know it's pretty awesome when your kids become your inspiration and role models. (P.S. He's the best insurance agent you'll ever find!)

Don't live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable.

~Wendy Wasserstein
Marilyn

April 6, 2017

A friend of mine died yesterday, my Aunt Becky died the day before (the last of that generation on my side of the family) and within the past couple of weeks, four high school friends have lost a parent.

On top of that, today is my birthday, the first one since my mom died.

Naturally, I'm writing a blog post. I need to get my thoughts sorted out, and this is where I do it. It's my therapy.

Marilyn, my friend who died yesterday morning, checked herself into the hospital a couple of weeks ago. According to her post on Facebook - from the hospital - she had googled her symptoms and thought she was just dehydrated.

It turned out she had sepsis, plus a few other issues. They put her right into ICU and sedated her so she wouldn't fight the ventilator they put in place to keep her airway open.

So that was her last post.

In it she mentioned being a little worried because she was the sole breadwinner (her husband is disabled) and she had already used up all of her sick days at her new job by having the flu the week before. But as usual, the post ended on a positive note, putting her trust in God to sort things out. She hoped to be back at work in a few days.

I hope my last Facebook post ends on a positive note.

I first met Marilyn in the summer after 4th grade at a summer school creative writing workshop. I'm not sure if we ever actually spoke… I was really shy … but she made an impression on me. We went to junior high and high school together, but I still really didn't know her back then.

Fast forward a few decades when, thanks to the miracle of Facebook, we reconnected and discovered we had both escaped to the Texas Hill Country. She only lived a couple of hours away.

Still, we only saw each other a handful of times after that. First, at one of our Shake Russell house concerts, then at another classmates' house who lived just a few miles away. It turned out they went to the same church and didn't even realize it.

She made it back out to my house for a surprise birthday party for another classmate. It was an official Deer Park Diva gathering.

Then we met up at the Keller Williams Mega Camp in Austin in 2014. We were both new agents. In fact, she made the decision right before I did and was a huge influence on my own decision.

We helped each other through the tough times of starting our own businesses. Well, I think she helped me more than I helped her. She was great at listings, and was always there if I needed an ear or some advice. I was surprised when she made the decision to leave real estate a few months ago, but she felt, for her family's sake, she needed a regular paycheck and regular hours.

It seems surreal to me that she's gone. Granted, she had some medical issues I wasn't aware of, but that's because she was always so positive and energetic. So full of life. She never complained about anything and was always quick to help anyone in need.

I regret I didn't know her better when we were younger, but I'm grateful I had a chance to get to know her before it was too late. I also regret we didn't follow through on our many intentions of getting together again, but I'm grateful that we did see each other a few times, and I'm very grateful for the ease of communication these days, despite distances, via Facebook or email or text messaging or phone calls.

Please keep her family in your prayers. From what I understand, Marilyn took care of everything. Her husband will be lost for quite awhile. And Marilyn, the youngest of three sisters, was still mourning the death of the middle sister from cancer. Now within a few months, the eldest has lost both of her younger sisters. I can't imagine that heartbreak.

Because I knew that Marilyn worked so hard for her family, I started a Go Fund Me page. I felt it was the best way to help her, and now I feel it's the best way to honor her memory. If you'd like to contribute, just click on the link.

But now back to my birthday tomorrow. While I still think of it as a gift that I've somehow made it to 58, especially when so many of my classmates have already passed away, I'm starting to think of it as more than that. It's an assignment. We are here for a reason, to somehow make this world better, even if it's just day by day.

Marilyn did. Not in a big production, but in the way she lived, the way she loved, the way she gave. She straddled each hurdle with a smile on her face and kept going, full of faith in God and others. We may not always see the big picture, but I think if we just focus on the little picture, of being as kind, positive, and helpful as possible, the big picture falls into place.

Do small things with great love. ~

St. Theresa of Calcutta
Shallue Go Bragh! (revisited)

March 17, 2017

May you always walk in sunshine.
May you never want for more.
May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door.

Happy St. Patrick's Day! This is mostly a repost, slightly updated, but when you can trace your husband's family back to Ireland in just a handful of generations, what else is there to blog about on St. Paddy's Day? I hope you enjoy it, even if you've read it before!

Bridget Shallue was just 52, younger than I am now and already a widow, when she said goodbye to Ireland in 1852 with her grown children…chased away by the potato famine, I'm sure.

If she ever returned, it isn't mentioned in the family lore.

Accompanied by two daughters and two sons, Bridget first arrived in Quebec, traveled to New York, and finally settled in Wisconsin in 1856.

One daughter died on the passage from Ireland and was buried at sea. Two older sons chose Australia over America to begin their new life. I doubt if she ever saw them again; her goodbye to those sons was probably as final and heartbreaking as her goodbye to her home, her homeland and her husband Thomas's grave – he had died just a few years before, at age 45.

And then the added heartbreak of watching a daughter's lifeless body disappear into the ocean…heartbreak I just can't imagine.

My own Tom Shallue and I found all of this out shortly after we were married, by talking to relatives and researching in libraries. We traced his family back to Ennistyman, County Clare…to that first Tom's grave, but that was as far as we could go. There was no Internet twenty-five years ago, no Ancestry.com, and we couldn't afford a trip over to do our own research or to hire a professional to do it for us.

It hit me that I knew more about the Shallue history than my Wilson's, so the next few years I focused my genealogical fervor on that line and other branches of my family … for example, my great-great grandfather George, memoir writer and protagonist of (one of) my book-in-progress.

But today is St. Patrick's Day and my thoughts are green…drawn toward the Shallue family and Ireland. Tom and I dream of traveling there one day, visiting the places that are only names on a map to us right now.

It would be extra fun to travel there with my son and daughter-in-law, Kirby, whose Irish-born grandmother left for the United States when just a teenager. She still has semi-close relatives living there. Even now, decades later, her grandmother hasn't lost her beautiful Irish accent!

The photo above isn't the final resting place of a direct descendant – it was taken by an aunt or cousin on a visit to Ireland several years ago – but it's no doubt a relative's final resting place because every Shallue is related. There just aren't that many!

Even these very names…James, Margaret and Denis Shallue…are echoed on tombstones on both sides of the ocean.

The Australian Shallues were always a mystery to the American branch. Rumor had it those brothers got on the wrong boat…they went to Australia totally by accident! But even though the American and Australian Shallues have connected on Facebook and Instagram, I still haven't gotten any clear answers about how they ended up there.

Tonight we'll be celebrating St. Paddy's Day with dear friends… the very Irish Monahans. There will be Guiness and Irish music and way too much corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, Irish soda bread, and no telling what else to eat. I can't wait!

Here's wishing all of you a happy St. Patrick's Day, too! And may God give you…

For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.
An Acceptable Time

March 13, 2017

The phrase 'an acceptable time' has been popping up lately on the fringes of my consciousness. There's a Bible verse about "an acceptable time" which refers to salvation, and a Madeleine L'Engle book of that name, which I've been intending to read for years, but still haven't yet.

But I finally finished a book that Gary Keller wrote called "The One Thing", about how important time-blocking is to accomplish the high priority items in our lives.

You figure out what one thing is most important to achieve your goal in any area of your life, then you block time for it, and most importantly, protect it from all distractions.

For example, if your goal is to get in shape, then it's really important that you work out a certain number of days for a certain amount of time. So I'm getting a lot better about turning off my phone in the mornings when I walk Belle and say my Rosary, as well as during the hour I work out. I know (from experience) that if I take the call or answer the text, I won't get back to my workout.

I also know that, whatever the issue is, it can wait until I'm finished.

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent.

Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.

~Carl Sandburg

There's more to the book than that, of course, and he writes it a lot better than I can, so I encourage you to read it, even if you're not in the real estate business. It applies to all areas of our lives, and addresses how to maintain balance in those areas.

Even in the blogging area. I decided tonight was an acceptable time to publish a long-overdue blog post. It's important to me to keep blogging, for my own pleasure, therapy, whatever…

But like most things that are put off too long, it becomes harder and harder to get started the longer you put it off. Writing a blog post takes longer than anyone other than bloggers can imagine. For me, anyway.

It requires a big chunk of relatively uninterrupted time, so I'm ignoring emails and to-do lists to do a brief catch-up over the past couple of crazy months. I plan to block time each week or so for a post.

It's important to me and, therefore, worthy of my time.

Seasons change.

Sometimes they are pretty subtle, though, and that's been the case here in central Texas this year. Summer was pretty distinctive (100+ degree days!), but Autumn, Winter, and now Spring have all pretty much blurred together, temperature-wise. Mostly a rollercoaster of warm and cool.

There are other seasons in our lives that change, too, though. Just a few years ago my kids were in college, still mostly dependent on us. Besides my family, I was focused on photography, writing, and blogging.

Now my kids are grown, and even though two still live at home, they are paying rent. They have real jobs with their own insurance (thank God) and I can enjoy having them here, because I know it's temporary.

These days, I use my phone for photography more than my Nikon, and my writing consists of a rare blog post, marketing materials, and my daily summary of 'sweets'. I haven't been faithful at posting them here, but this week marks a year of writing them in a journal every day. Yay!

If you struggle to keep a positive attitude, I encourage to keep track of your 'sweets', too. It could be a bird singing, a warm fire, getting enough sleep one night, a friend calling, or maybe taking advantage of an opportunity to help someone else. Pay attention and write them down, if possible. I bet you find your list grows longer each day.

One of the best parts of my job is helping friends get what they want.

In all honesty, by the time we get to closing, I consider all of my clients to be friends, since I've been so focused on their needs.

But I've been blessed to help several long-time friends with their real estate needs, most recently ShiShi, in the photo above with her husband. We were the only two girls in our high school physics class. After that, we lost touch. She went on to become an architect, and, well, if you read my blog, you know what I've done since then.

Until we started viewing potential properties for her and her husband Ike to buy, I hadn't seen her since 1977. It was so awesome to reconnect with her and get to know Ike and her sons.

I was almost sorry when we finally closed on a property. But now that we've reconnected, I feel sure we'll see each other again.

A recurring theme right now for my peers is aging parents. A dear friend recently left her life in Texas to live in California and help care for her aging parents. We sent her off in style with a farewell party in a local restaurant overlooking Lake Travis.

Her own real estate career had just begun to take off; she plans to continue it in California, so if you know anyone who has a real estate need there, let me know and I'll connect you.

Last weekend I attended a bridal shower for a beautiful young woman, one of my older son's friends I've known since their elementary school days, along with her family.

The shower was held in her cousin's home… a home I helped her and her husband buy this past summer. I can't describe the joy of still being a part of these "kids'" lives, helping them buy their first homes and celebrate the milestones in their lives.

Also attending were other mothers… friends who supported me and my kids, and who share many of the same memories of their growing up. I am still so grateful we moved to this small town, where my kids have so many 'other mothers' who love them almost as much as I do, just as I love their kids.

Yes, seasons change. It seems like yesterday that I was their age. But my joy and excitement for them doesn't leave room for any wistful, rose-colored-glasses wishes to be younger. I haven't forgotten the challenges of that season. Despite the challenges that come with age, I'm enjoying the one I'm in at any given time.

The next one will be here soon enough.

Every season hath its pleasures:
Spring may boast her flowery prime,
Yet the vineyard's ruby treasures
Brighten Autumn's soberer time.
So life's year begins and closes;
Days, though shortening, still can shine;
What, though youth gave loves and roses,
Age still leaves us friends and wine.

~Thomas Moore (1779–1852), "Spring and Autumn"
Believe

January 22, 2017

Here we are, more than halfway through January already, and I still haven't taken down my Christmas tree, much less shared with you my word for 2017.

Tonight, I decided sharing my word was more important than taking down the tree. That can wait until tomorrow. Or heck, next week.

(I'd leave it up all year, but then I would have to dust it.)

Anyway, back to my word for 2017. Here it is…

It's one that has been growing in me over the past few challenging years.

When we're faced with disappointment and heartache, we have a choice. We can either stay positive and believe everything will eventually work out for the best, or we can crumble under the pressure, cowering in a dark hole of fear and dread, believing everything will turn out for the worst.

That's no way to live. At least no way I want to live.

More and more I believe what Oprah Winfrey said…

"What you focus on expands, and when you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it. Opportunities, relationships, even money flowed my way when I learned to be grateful no matter what happened in my life."

It's not just about surviving with a smile. It's about allowing ourselves to dream big, to be deaf to self-doubt and limiting thoughts others feel obligated to share with us.

I'm getting better at weeding out those negative thoughts before they have a chance to root and expand, and to seek out the blessings in each day even when they aren't obvious.

But I give God credit for helping me.. .

"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."~ Mark 11:24

I do believe in God. I haven't always, and I know all the arguments that prove God doesn't exist. But inside, I still believe.

“Faith is the substance [assurance] of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” ~Hebrews 11:1

When I started a new career at 54 (not just a new career, but my own business), it was daunting. I was also dealing with the illness and subsequent death of my father, and the care of my mother, along with the other issues that often arise in families.

But it was up to me whether I succeeded or failed. It was up to me if I got a paycheck. I could have failed and blamed my circumstances, but honestly, that wasn't an option. We desperately needed the money. I had to succeed.

Therefore, I had to believe in myself, and my ability to succeed, no matter what else was happening in my life. My family and my clients depended on me.

It helped that I believed it was the path God wanted me to take.

“If we start without confidence, we have already lost half the battle and we bury our talents.” ~ Pope Francis

Of course, it hasn't been easy. It didn't happen overnight. But I kept believing, and this past year, as I learned to let go and just trust that God was in control, I could see how things fit into place. Prayers were answered in ways I couldn't have imagined three years ago. I see that dreams I once thought were out of reach are becoming part of my reality.

"I believe that there is an explanation for everything, so, yes, I believe in miracles." ~Robert Brault

I hope when you're faced with the obstacles that are sure to come in this life, you choose to stay positive, to believe everything happens for a reason, even if you don't see it right away.

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." ~Ralph Hodgson

And in case you didn't get enough pithy quotes in this post already, here are a few more…

"There is no chance, no destiny, no fate that can circumvent, hinder, or control the firm resolve of a determined soul." ~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

"In the end you regret less the things you believed that weren't true than the things that never came true because you didn't believe." ~Robert Brault

And perhaps my favorite…

"If the sun and moon should doubt,
They'd immediately go out."
~William Blake

So. Just. Believe. Good.
As 2016 drifts away…

December 31, 2016

So I'm sitting here sipping champagne, listening to fireworks in the distance, thinking about 2016. There are only a few hours left of it, and while it brought heartache, it also brought many moments of joy.

I lost my mom this year, but I was able to spend a lot of time with her… more precious memories to add to the others tucked away in my heart.

There were some nerve-wracking, challenging moments in my business, but overall I exceeded the goals I set for myself while doing what I enjoy… volunteering, helping people, learning, meeting new people, and spending time with friends and family.

While cleaning out my mom's house, sorting and tossing, I also made a big dent in sorting through and tossing my own stuff. I plan to continue minimizing in 2017.

My eldest and his wife went on one adventure after another around the globe, always returning safe and sound back home. In comparison, my own out-of-town adventures seem pretty boring, but they were just what I needed: weekend trips with girlfriends, celebrating retirements and birthdays, a relaxing week with my mother-in-law, and a few one day trips with friends to festivals and Magnolia Market in Waco.

2017 will include more traveling for me, though -a Keller Williams conference in Las Vegas in February and a week in Italy in October with high school friends.

But every year has its good and its bad, and I expect 2017 will be the same. I lost many loved ones besides my mom this year, but I prefer to focus on the love we shared and be grateful for the memories … to live life in such a way that I will be missed if this year turns out to be my last.

I refuse to live in fear or filled with worry, but in hope, faith, and gratitude. I'll keep my eyes open for the sweet surprises in each day, filling the pages in my journal with them each evening, lest I forget.

Let's go boldly into 2017 with eyes open for the beauty and love that surrounds us, and add to what is already there with kindness and patience. Let's hang tight to joy and ensure fear doesn't win. Are you with me?

Happy New Year and God bless you!

"A Happy New Year! There is a glow of cheer and optimism in the very words "New Year." The old year, with its anxieties and worries, is over. It too brought happy days and sunshine, and in memory we must cherish the bright places."

~May Louise Crane, "Poet-O-Grams," American Poetry Magazine, January 1934
For those of you dealing with aging parents…

December 22, 2016

This will be my first Christmas as an orphan.

Our Christmas celebrations, not to mention our lives, changed drastically after my dad passed away 3 years ago.

Instead of taking a road trip to Houston and gathering with siblings and kids in my childhood home to celebrate, TG and I took a one-day road trip to Houston on Christmas Eve day, moved my mom out of the nursing home there, and headed back to Austin.

Mama spent that first Christmas Day without Daddy at our house before I deposited her at the nursing home near us that evening.

It was so tough to leave her there. She was confused and upset. But I anticipated bringing her to the house for frequent visits. Tom even built wheelchair ramps for the doors and walkways.

However, way before Christmas came around again, she had lost so much muscle strength we couldn't even get her into my car. So we visited her in her room that next Christmas Day after Daddy's passing.

She could barely stay awake and looked awful - she had been in bed all day, the aides said - so this is the photo I took…

By the next year, her health had deteriorated even more, but she was happy to see us. Of course, her eyes always soaked us up like bread on gravy every time she saw us.

I think she knew it would probably be her last Christmas here on earth.

I feared it was, as well.

When we first moved her closer to us, I never expected her to go downhill so fast. I kept expecting her to get better… if she would just try a little harder! Do the exercises physical therapy showed her. Work her crossword puzzles. Participate in the games and activities the nursing home always provided.

Sometime during her last year, my eyes cleared. It was obvious her condition was going to deteriorate no matter what she or I did.

She was making the most of the life she had left by keeping a good attitude. The least I could do was get off her back and appreciate her and our time together. As much as it hurt, I had to accept the fact that Mama couldn't live forever.

So I stopped nagging and relaxed. I held her hand more, trimmed her nails, brushed her hair. When I pushed her wheelchair, I always kissed the top of her head.

I would ask her questions about her life, tell her about my day, ask her advice, or we would just sit and enjoy old television shows together.

What I miss the most is getting her advice. She was a wise woman up until the very end, even if her memory got a little blurry at times.

I'll never be as wise as my mom, but here is a little advice for all of you who may be dealing with aging parents. I wrote this on her last birthday, but never published it for some reason.

I wish someone had told me this way back before I went through it, so here you go…

There were days it was tough to be with my mom, especially in that first year after Daddy died.

I admit that for all of you who are dealing with aging parents. Remember, they are going through a lot… perhaps physical pain, remorse and regret, loneliness, helplessness when they've always been the helpers, loss of privacy and independence and memory…

I really don't want to imagine how it must feel.

But if their words hurt you or make you angry (because they are going to lash out at the one who is there because they know you will love them anyway) it's okay to say "I have to leave," and then walk out.

Don't let them engage you in an argument. Don't try to defend yourself. Don't try to reason with them or use logic.

It won't work. Just leave.

But be sure to go back the next day, and act like nothing happened. Because they need you. They appreciate you. They really do.

And above all, they love you, as they always have.
I had no idea…

December 13, 2016

I had no idea, when I decided to lug the recycling up to the bin tonight, that a full moon was waiting for me at the top of our winding path. It peeked at me from between the trees, but then BOO! there it was, resting just above the silhouetted hill in front of our house, shining bold and bright and casting shadows of trees across the dirt road.

What a sweet surprise. I had no need for a flashlight -the moon cast a soft glow across my path. An echo of daylight.

I paused and embraced that moment…

…The moon, and its frame of wispy clouds. The sprinkling of stars. The slight chill of a Texas autumn. Far off, I heard a car making its way through the hills. A dog barked.

Mostly, it was quiet and peaceful, and I let it just wash over me.

I gave thanks.

This can be a crazy time of year. And it can be a sad time of year, even while it's joyous.

It's like a rainbow. Or maybe a braid.

Peace is often the weakest color. The weakest strand.

We demand a lot of ourselves and our families. For instance, I was not going to let this Christmas go by without putting up my tree and decorations. But between me and that goal sat my mom's chest of drawers and my grandmother's cedar chest in the middle of my living room (not where furniture belongs), plus a bunch of boxes full of my mom's photo albums and of my own books still longing for a place on a shelf.

I had one Saturday to find a place for the furniture , and then weed through all of my books, deciding who stays and who goes. so I had a spot for the tree.

And I did it. I admit I still have 3 or 4 boxes full of children's books stashed away until I have grandkids, but I filled several more boxes of books that will go to other homes.

It was another week before I had time to actually decorate my house and tree. So I gave the task four hours (or, three favorite Christmas movies, however you want to put it), then had the kids put away all of the boxes, even though only about 2/3 of the decorations made it out.

But it was done.

I'm trying to keep sight of what the season is all about than just be busy with the signs of the season.

For me, it's the season of Advent, which I've already written about HERE, and preparing for the coming of Christ.

Like other religions, that also means spending more time with family and friends, and showing your appreciation to them. It also means spending more time in reflection and prayer.

But life, and work, continue, making the same demands as always.

Something's got to give.

We no longer do mandatory gift-giving, but I do still plan to send out cards, even though I send way more than I receive.

I just love the tradition. It makes me sit and think of each person on my list, to reminisce and give thanks they are still in my life. Even if it's just to send a Christmas card once a year. I've been sending my own since I was in 9th grade.

Actually, I had planned to work on cards this evening…. until I saw the moon.

Which made me say thanks, and made me think of other blessings in my life lately.

So, without further ado, here are some recent sweets…

Having all my kids together, and finally properly celebrating my 31st anniversary of becoming a mother. And, of course, my son's birthday.

(Weird, wonderful coincidence: Two girls who graduated with my son gave birth to their firstborns on my son's birthday – so we share the anniversary! Isn't that amazing?)

An afternoon of food, friendship, and wine! We had been trying to schedule a day to meet at Flat Creek Estate Winery for about a year to take advantage of a raffle-prize group wine tasting, and finally managed it this past Sunday.

Of course, it was perfect timing, right in the middle of the holiday stress, to just sit and relax with friends you've known for ages, who know your ups and downs and are always cheering for you.

…especially when you've just become a grandma like the beautiful un-grandmotherly-looking woman on the right, whose beautiful granddaughter was born on my son's birthday.

The beauty of autumn leaves.

Each morning I run/walk with Belle down our dirt road, reciting the Rosary. I never quite finish, so I take a couple of laps around my house.

One day I noticed these leaves lying on our porch swing. I mean, I finally saw them lying there, and realized how beautiful they were.

Sometimes we get too caught up in our habits – even good ones – to really pay attention, don't we?

Another morning I was jogging down the road and noticed a splash of red in the cedar trees.

Out of pure curiosity, I continued running past our house to see what it was.

And I was glad I did. (Thank you, God!)

Yes, the beauty of autumn leaves.

Being accepted as a member of the next Agent Leadership Council of our market center was a huge honor. You have to be in the top 20% of production – which I didn't even realize I had reached – plus go through an interview process.

And I made it!

Keller Williams is different in that agents help make big decisions in the operation of the office. We won't get paid for our time. It's just a way of giving back and trying to help make us even better.

We started with an all-day retreat last week… which started with breakfast tacos from Taco Donut Palace. (Remember, we're in Austin!)

One morning, after way, way too many gray, drizzly days, the clouds disappeared and we were given the most beautiful, crisp, clear sunrise.

That moment when the sun kisses my hollow is always so amazing, like a painter bringing his work to life, and especially after you've been starved for color. This photo doesn't do it justice, but I hope it gives you a hint.

Definitely another "thank you" moment.

Belle has a new friend.

Our neighbor's cat, Willow, has started hanging around our place quite a bit.

It made me nervous at first because Belle has a gung-ho hunting spirit, and I was afraid she would hurt (kill) Willow, without meaning to.

But Willow is pretty savvy. She has not only survived, but seems to have the upper hand in the friendship most of the time.

Honestly, I know she's just here because of the mice and the bird feeder – and the slim hope of making it indoors.

But seeing them together, especially during this political season that seems to never end, brings me hope that we can all focus on our common goals and interests. I know we have them.

We don't have to give up our individual beliefs, but we can show respect for each other's. Fear is taking on way too much power in this country these days.

And that's what will be our downfall. Not our differences, but Fear.

Don't let Fear guide you. Focus on hope, love, and peace. They are just as powerful.

I wish you all a wonderful holiday season, full of love, hope, and peace. If you're missing loved ones, as I am, focus on the people you still have in your lives, on giving and sharing. I do believe it helps keep sadness from clouding the sweets all around us.

May you have the gladness of Christmas which is hope;
The spirit of Christmas which is peace;
The heart of Christmas which is love.
~Ada V. Hendricks
One of life’s sweet surprises…

December 3, 2016

It's hard for me to believe it now, but there was a time in my life when I wasn't sure I wanted to be a mother. I mean, kids can be so annoying and demanding! (I know I was!)

I thank God every single day that he changed my mind and blessed me with my three amazing kids, beginning with the one who turns 31 today.

Long gone are the days when I was in charge of his celebrations. He now plans his own, and with his wife's help, does a much better job than I ever did. Today he is exploring Cuba!

He promised we could celebrate together when he returns, because today is special for me, too - my 31st anniversary of becoming a mother. Truly the most life-changing, gratifying, challenging, and amazing job I could ever have imagined, even now that they are grown.

They continue to make me laugh, and continually amaze, challenge, encourage, inspire, motivate, support, and teach me.

…And yes, sometimes worry me, but that's because I'm a mom, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

So happy birthday, Tommy. May you continue to embrace and enjoy this life, and receive as much joy as you give to me and others. I hope today you are having fun adventures and collecting tons of priceless memories in Cuba, and they are just the beginning of another awesome year.

Love and thanks,

Mom

"The first fact about the celebration of birthdays is that it is a good way of affirming defiantly, and even flamboyantly, that it is a good thing to be alive." ~G.K. Chesterton
Where Do I Begin?

December 2, 2016

My dear, dear blog,

I have had so many good intentions of writing to you over the past few weeks, but alas, they got lost in the dust stirred up by time racing by. And now here it is, the first of December, and all I've written you since August are two little birthday posts.

Enough is enough. It's time to catch you up on all that's been happening around here….so many things worthy of their own blog post – in my opinion, at least – but a condensed version will have to suffice.

First of all, you may remember that last year at this time my eldest was in New Zealand, celebrating his 30th birthday.

Well, guess where he is tonight? Cuba! He'll be celebrating his 31st birthday there in a couple of days, traveling to some of the smaller towns, meeting the locals, and soaking it all up.

For him and his adventurous wife, it was a pretty spur-of-the-moment trip, although they've gotten really good at researching and planning their vacations.

For example, they explored Iceland in August via a camper van. I hadn't even gotten around to telling you about that!

That is just not like me.

I'm so grateful for their photos, Facebook, and their adventurous spirits.

*************

Tom and I took a road trip to Florida to celebrate Thanksgiving with his mom. Although I call her a couple of times a month, somehow a year and a half had passed without me seeing her in person. Tom traveled there for her birthday in May, but I just couldn't get away. (My business exploded after my mom passed away. I think she stirred things up. Thank you, Mama!)

My mother-in-law is an amazing lady, so sharp and energetic, with such a positive outlook on life. I'm determined to help her celebrate her next birthday in May.

On this trip there was a lot of card-playing, television-watching, and sleeping. In other words, it was a true vacation! Plus, my sweet sister- and brother-in-law took me to my favorite antique/thrift store where you can still find bargains.

And then they hosted Thanksgiving, with another brother- and sister-in-law driving up from central Florida who I hadn't seen since Pop's funeral in 2012.

Overall it was an awesome trip. No beach…nothing exciting or fancy….but absolutely wonderful.

The week flew by for me – and then I had to fly home. By May I plan to have systems in place that allow me to stay the whole time.

**********************

On our way to Florida, we stopped in Houston to help one of our oldest friends celebrate his 60th birthday. Bob was in the Coast Guard with Tom, and except for Tom's roommate David (who was also at the party), Bob and his wife Lisa were the first of Tom's friends I met.

They always hosted the best New Year's Eve parties, which included silly interactive games which ensured everyone got to know each other fast… sometimes pretty intimately.

(No, not that intimately. Totally innocent. Just sort of embarrassing, in a junior high kind of way.)

Anyway, we played them again at Bob's birthday party. It's a great way to peel away 30+ years!

No photos of the games, though, just us and our dear friends…

There are no friends like old friends, right? I'm very grateful for these!

**********************

My daughter-in-law turned 29 a few weeks ago. For her 30th birthday next year, they are already planning a trip to Italy, so she has been taking Italian lessons, and to celebrate her birthday, we joined her at an awesome Italian restaurant in Austin, Vespaio.

Afterwards, we went to Cedar Street Courtyard and enjoyed a Spazmatics concert. It had nothing to do with Italy, but it was a lot of fun and worth staying up late on a Wednesday night!

*********************

This is a terrible photo of a photo from my 16th birthday. That's my grandmother on my right, my sister on my left, and my brother-in-law Boyce behind me.

I was 10 when my sister went on a blind date with Boyce. Five years later they were married, and they stayed that way for a very long time. He was absolutely the funniest person I've every met, very loyal, smart, helpful… but a very complicated person.

He loved to embarrass me, but was one of my most ardent cheerleaders, too, keeping me humble and building me up at the same time. He was one of my best friends.

Boyce and my sister were second parents to me when my parents divorced, giving me valuable guidance, financial advice, and stability.

But he was also bi-polar (we later realized) and it got worse as he got older. They eventually divorced, but remained friends, and he always remained my big brother, a dear friend, and one of the funniest people I've ever known. My parents adored him.

So it broke my heart when he passed away several weeks ago after almost a year of severe illness.

May you rest in peace, Boyce. I love you, and thank you for being such an awesome big brother.

************************

If you're a fan of the HGTV show Fixer-Upper, then you are familiar with Magnolia Market.

I finally got to visit it in person!

******************

I always love helping my clients, whether buyers or sellers, realize their real estate goal or dream. But I recently had the joy of helping my son's best friend and his wife (who is also one of my son's long time friends I've watched grow up) move back to Austin from Washington D.C. and buy their first home - a really cool modern home in east Austin.

They were so much fun to work with – they had thought it out thoroughly and knew their priorities. There was one house they kept coming back to… and they got it. I'm so grateful they let me help them in their adventure. And I'm so happy they are back in Austin!

I had a little adventure of my own on the way to their closing… a flat on a major highway!

I made the mistake of pulling off on the left shoulder, but fortunately an awesome Austin policeman came to my rescue. With his car, he blocked traffic on the highway so I could get across to the exit, then blocked traffic on the feeder so I could pull into an Academy parking lot. Then he proceeded to change my tire until the highway assistance truck arrived and took over.

His name is Office Wally and he's my hero.

I still made it to the closing, though, because my awesome son met me at the tire store, gave me his car, and waited there while mine was repaired. Later, he met us for brunch to celebrate the closing and we traded back.

What might have been a horrible day turned out to be wonderful, thanks to Officer Wally and Tommy.

******************************

For something like 15 years, I've been retreating to the beach in Port Aransas each fall with friends. I've truly lost count of the number of years.

A few of the faces have remained the same, but every year there are some changes.

This year was extra special because one of the ladies - who happens to be the daughter of one of the originals, but who has been joining us since she turned 21 ten years ago when we picked her up at the Corpus Christi airport and now she essentially keeps the whole thing organized… um, where was I?

Oh, yes, Lauren is expecting her first baby, so we gave her a surprise baby shower.

That was definitely a first.

A lot of us also went out dancing one night and witnessed some fights (and subsequently knew it was time to leave) so it all balanced out and was yet another memorable weekend that will blur together with all of the others into a blissful montage that I remember distinctly but can't keep straight from year to year.

******************

And that's it for now. Those are just the highlights of the past couple of months. In between these big blessings are so many small ones that are easily overlooked, and I feel guilty for not sharing those.

But I do hope you have been keeping an eye open for them. To me, they are the most powerful… the quiet reminders of hope and God's love.

Until next time… whenever that may be.

Love,

Barbara

"Let a joy keep you. Reach out your hands and take it when it runs by"

~Carl Sandburg

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