Long Hollow

Lesson #85 (Happy Birthday in Heaven, Mama!)

November 14, 2016
When I asked my mom what she wanted for her birthday last year, she thought for a minute, then said "More time."

I had a feeling it would be the last birthday we celebrated with her on earth; I think she knew it would be. And who knows… maybe she got her birthday wish. Maybe we were blessed with more time with her, and she with us, than was originally scheduled.

Even so, it doesn't feel like enough.

This morning, when I was wishing I could celebrate her birthday with her again, with Tom and the kids and my siblings and cousin Pat, it hit me that she now had more family gathered around to sing "Happy Birthday" to her in heaven than she does here on earth.

She has Daddy, her mom and dad, all of her siblings, all of her in-laws, most of her cousins, many of her best friends, nieces, and nephews, and my father-in-law. She also has my older brother, Buster, my sister-in-law Haila, and my ex-brother-in-law, Boyce, who just passed away a few weeks ago.

(Boyce always sent the best birthday cards, anyway - I'm saving all of them I come across. I bet he has her giggling today.)

It was a wonderful image in my mind, of all of them gathered around her, and despite the ache in my heart from missing her, I smiled.

After going through Mama and Daddy's things over the past few months, especially letters and cards from friends and family, I've learned something that goes beyond Lesson #84 ("Appreciate every second you're given, because life is beautiful.")

We need to take advantage of every chance to spend time with family and friends, and be sure they know they can count on us if they need us.

Because, like most of us, Mama was often irritated with one person or another. She could give Daddy the silent treatment for days if he stepped out of line… a talent I truly envy. I just can't stay mad long enough to get a point across.

Yet, you never had to doubt her devotion or love, and I really doubt if anyone except Daddy (or her children) ever knew she was irritated at them. If you needed anything, she was there in a heartbeat.

In fact, reading through all of the cards, flipping back through memories, you could say she was the heartbeat of the family. Everyone depended on her, and she was always there for them.

It's a lesson that she's been teaching me my entire lifetime, but it has truly been driven home for me in the last four years, after losing so many people who are precious to me in such a short time… my father-in-law, my dad, my mom, a childhood friend, and my ex-brother-in-law (who was essentially another brother.)

Life is just too short, period. Spend time with your friends and family when you get the chance, even if you're tired and don't really feel like it. Give them a call and let them know you care. Let them know you're there if they need you.

That's really all we're here for, anyway.

"…and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: "Love your neighbor as yourself". No other commandment is greater than these. "

Mama, thank you for all the lessons you gave me, whether intentional or not. You taught more by example than words… just another clue to what a wise woman I was blessed to have as my mother.

On her 77th birthday, I listed the things she had taught me, and I've added to it every year. So without further ado, here's the list…

Things Mama has taught me…
1. it's never too late to learn something new
2. if you have a choice between laughter and tears, choose laughter.
3. don't let anyone mess with your babies!
4. only give advice when asked for it (I'm still working on that one)
5. pray every day
6. pray some more
7. reading a good book might not solve your problems, but it's a nice escape from them
8. bend but never break
9. some people are just takers
10. be nice whenever possible, but sometimes nice doesn't cut it
11. take care of family
12. we're all individuals – let your kids blossom into themselves, not "mini-me's"
13. be there
14. Johnny Weismuller is the best movie Tarzan
15. don't be in a rush to be older than you are – you're only going to be this age once in your life
16. if you like something, and you'll use it, and you can afford it, then buy it, or you'll regret it later
17. quality over quantity
18. never think "can't"
19. people will stand in line for a dead skunk if it's free
20. roll with the punches
21. have fun
22. laugh often
23. believe in yourself
24. don't let others change who you are
25. be honest
26. don't steal
27. forgive yourself
28. God loves me
29. don't judge
30. just do it!
31. inside matters more than outside
32. don't use God's name in vain
33. you can learn anything if you put your mind to it
34. you're never too old to dance
35. it's okay to ask for help
36. show appreciation and express gratitude
37. use my manners
38. consider the source
39. an office or position of authority should be respected, but the individual in that position has to earn your respect
40. sleep is good
41. take advantage of opportunities
42. keep your eyes open and your wits about you
43. people aren't always nice
44. things can't make you happy
45. use your imagination
46. just get started and the rest will be easy
47. don't be intimidated by anyone – we're all the same, all human, we all have strengths and weaknesses
48. you can love someone even if you don't like them
49. forgive but don't forget
50. learn from others' mistakes
51. there are times for being patient, and time for putting your foot down
52. speak up
53. stand up for what you believe in
54. admit your mistakes and expect others to do the same
55. persistance pays off
56. let your kids be kids
57. love unconditionally
58. take lots of pictures
59. kids grow up fast
60. your kids need a mother, not another friend
61. pets are family
62. help others
63. a sense of humor is essential for sanity and survival
64. if you look close enough, you can find something to love about everyone
65. coffee is good anytime
66. messes can be cleaned up
67. prayer works
68. God is strong all the time – let him carry you
69. if you say you're going to do something, do it
70. be nice to yourself in case no one else is
71. you have to show respect to get respect
72. girls are tough
73. don't put up with temper tantrums – yours or someone else's
74. listen to your body – doctors don't know everything
75. don't say everything you're thinking
76. asking questions is the best way to learn something
77. your babies are always your babies (and their babies are your babies, too!)
78. God is.
79. Just listen.
80. people are more important than things
81. there is a time to help others, and a time to let others help you
82. God has his reasons, and He will give you whatever strength you need for the road ahead…and never leave you to walk it alone.
83. smile and show appreciation to those who are willing to help you – they may have it tougher than you in many ways
84. Appreciate every second you're given, because life is beautiful.
85. Treasure the people in your life; take advantage of every chance you have to be with them, or to help them, even on days you don't like them.
"At the end of the day, a loving family should find everything forgivable."

~Mark V. Olsen and Will Sheffer, Big Love, "Easter"

"All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother." ~Abraham Lincoln

Love you, Mama. Happy birthday, and God bless you!
And another year makes… 28?

October 15, 2016

Despite my best efforts to slow down - to catch and savor the sweet surprises of each day - the hours, the minutes, the days, and even the years are beginning to blur.

I'm actually having a tough time remembering how old my kids are!

I swear Daniel just turned 27, but I blinked, and now somehow he's 28. He didn't want a celebration and treated the day as any other, getting up and going to work and declining my suggestion that we all go somewhere for dinner in Austin because it would mean a late night and he had to get up early for work.

Yes, my kids have grown up.

I'm glad he at least took his big brother up on an offer for a late lunch/early dinner. Moms always hope and pray their kids will not only get along, but actually enjoy each other's company, so it made me happy to see this photo on Facebook … even though they didn't invite me to join them. Ahem.

I was busy making Cyclops Cookies, anyway. After the year we've had, I couldn't let the day go by without doing something special to acknowledge it. So I made an appointment with myself in the kitchen, ignored calls and emails, and made way too many cookies for just the four of us.

Tomorrow I'll shove healthy eating in the closet again when I fry up his favorite meal – Jim Linton's Chicken Tenders. (The recipe is from a friend of ours, so the name stuck.) It's a huge flour-y, greasy ordeal, so I only make them for special occasions, and when I have enough time to scrub the whole kitchen afterwards.

It's worth it though, if it helps me express how much I appreciate him just being alive, and his thoughtful, caring soul that led him to stop and visit Mama on his way home from work at least once a week, even though that meant he wouldn't get home or eat dinner until close to 9 pm.

It meant so much to her for him to visit, and it helped ease my mind on the rare days I wasn't able to stop and check on her to know he would fill in for me.

And then to have him and TG stick beside me for hours as Mama made her way home to heaven and Daddy… it made me proud and humble and grateful, all at the same time.

I feel honored and so truly blessed for the privilege of watching him and all of my kids grow up. They aren't perfect, thank goodness (what fun would that be?) … but somehow, despite all the mistakes I made as their mom (and still make!) they are really, really, really good human beings.

Celebrating the day they were born – the day I became their mom – well, that is truly a chance I can't pass up.

Happy 28th birthday, Daniel! I hope the coming year is the best ever for you, that all of the blessings and care and thoughtfulness you bestow on others comes back to you a hundredfold!

You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes.

~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
Memories, and other sweet!s

August 24, 2016

"…remember someone said that God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December…."

~J.M. Barrie, "Courage" (The Rectorial Address Delivered at St. Andrews University, 1922 May 3rd)

There are some days when the not-so-sweet! seems to overshadow the sweet! Yesterday was one of those days.

First, I heard of the passing of a high school classmate from a form of brain cancer. I didn't know her well in high school, but at our last reunion I had the chance to visit with her. She was an opera singer and graciously agreed to sing for a few of us at an after-reunion gathering.

Her voice was simply amazing; I can't help but think God called her home to sing with his angels.

I don't count her death as a sweet!, of course, but the chance to finally connect with her decades beyond high school, her impromptu performance, and the magic of her voice, will remain sweet memories.

Rest in peace, Melinda, and let your voice join those of the angels…

Later in the day, I got word that one of my favorite human-beings had also passed away unexpectedly. Bill was my cousin's husband, but Sheryl is one of the oldest cousins and I am the youngest, so he had been a part of my life for as long as I could remember. His daughters are just a few years younger than I am.

He was a hardworking, gentle giant, devoted to family and friends, especially his wife, daughters, and their families, who are truly heartbroken now, especially since Sheryl's father recently passed away, as well.

From all accounts Bill was a reluctant Texan, always hoping to return to his beloved Colorado, but providing for his family was top priority.

I'm glad he stayed put in Texas, so that he was a frequent part of my life, but I like to think God made sure Bill's heaven looks a lot like the Rocky Mountains, like in this old photo I found in my grandmother's slides of him, Sheryl, and their firstborn.

May you rest in peace, Bill…

An easy thing, O power divine, to thank Thee for these gifts of Thine,

For summer's sunshine, winter's snow, for hearts that kindle, thoughts that glow;

But when shall I attain to this – to thank Thee for the things I miss?

~ Thomas Wentworth Higginson

In every day there are going to be dark clouds that distract you from the sweet!s left in your path as a gift. Don't forget to keep your eyes open for them… and remember to say thank you!

Here are some I jotted in my journal or captured in a photo since my last post…

Hummingbirds buzzing close and hovering; feeling rested even though you woke up at 3 a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep; reconnecting with old friends on Facebook

Gorgeous, cooler summer days, after weeks of rain and/or double digit temperatures; news that someone dear to you is improved enough to move from ICU into a regular room, and that there's still hope his cancer can be beaten; Facebook reminding you of sweet mornings spent on your back deck with three of your favorite guys, who you truly miss …

A "catch-up" email from a friend; a call from a potential buyer for one of your listings; torrential rain holding off until after your morning walk with your puppy.

A long visit with a friend after church; yummy breakfast burritos sold by the Knights of Columbus to raise money for the victims of the floods in Louisiana; a referral from a friend; rain holding off while you get to and from the grocery store; finally getting to play and snuggle with your foster-grandpuppies before they are adopted; babies who will soon be baptized being introduced to the parish

Making progress on sorting through the boxes from your parents' home that are piled in the middle of your living room, without getting emotionally overwhelmed; a referral for an out-of-town buyer from an agent/friend; dinner with friends at Stubbs Barbecue; enjoying Finite Fidelity's performance at Stubbs afterward, featuring your friend's son on the drums

Following through on promises; a good check-up at the dentist; memories of experiencing Hurricane Alicia in League City with your husband shortly after celebrating your first anniversary, and being grateful you suffered very little damage; a blossom finally appearing on one of your crape myrtles, thanks to all of the rain

Your friends home safe from their adventure to Rio de Janeiro to watch the Olympics; finally being able to walk your puppy after three solid days of rain; great customer service at ATT when your iPhone decides to shatter on its millionth drop; getting a listing lead from another customer while you're there

Making plans for your annual girls' weekend at the coast; your church holding a clothing drive for the Louisiana flood victims; viewing several gorgeous homes with a buyer-client, including one that made you feel you had somehow stepped through the door into Italy

Whataburger, for the first time in months; watching "Community" with your son from the beginning; finding a card your best friend sent to your parents when your grandmother passed away twenty years ago; stepping out of a meeting just in time to see this sunset…

And last but not least, the things your grandmother kept in her purse…

I hope you are always able to spot the sweet!s in your path, and that your good memories never fade…
Rain. A sweet! for me… a curse for others.

August 16, 2016

Our rain started last night. A determined, confident rain that would match any long-distance runner in the Olympics… persistent and focused. I can hear it even now, picking up a second wind, stepping up its pace.

However, except for a few low-water crossings, and unlike poor Louisiana, thank the good Lord there haven't been any dangerous flash floods here. That might change in the next day or so, because the ground is now saturated, but considering how dry we were, it's kind of amazing we didn't have any before now.

This afternoon I even spotted a few buds on my crape myrtle – that hasn't happened in a long time! (I would say "in a few years" but I know how faulty my memory is; it could have been just 6 months ago. Sigh.)

I feel so bad for Louisiana, though, although my friends there have reported in and are high and dry so far, thank goodness. Please keep everyone there in your prayers.

And now for some other sweet!s over the past couple of weeks…

Taking two classes about pricing properties from a teacher who believes in giving out goodies while sharing her knowledge, and earning the Pricing Strategy Advisor designation in the process.

Your sister coming to your rescue with advice on how to get more storage on your iPhone.

Remembering your first married kiss on your 34th wedding anniversary

The movie "Princess Bride" for the millionth time. It never gets old.

The cuteness of the pitbull/black lab puppies your son and daughter-in-law are fostering.

Your son and daughter-in-law fostering puppies!

Making progress on emptying the boxes that gather dust in the middle of your living room.

Being able to attend the funeral and offer condolences when your sister-in-law's father passes away

A new buyer asking for your help

Remembering to sell raffle tickets to raise money for your church (ask me about them!)

Pink sunrises

A phone call with your mother-in-law, verifying she's okay after her area has been pounded with rain

Store clearance racks

Knowing your sister was having a lot of fun on her birthday

Meeting up with a dear friend at a Greek restaurant for lunch to celebrate her birthday (double sweet!)

Lunch with another friend at Chuey's to commemorate the 2nd anniversary of the closing on her first home

Hitching a ride with your husband to an early class in town, and a ride home with your son

Your husband making it home safe and sound when his transmission goes out on his truck one night, and when all the tread flies off of his tire on another night.

A friend passing her test to become a REALTOR® and choosing you as her sponsor

Making it onto your company's Top Producer list 3 months in a row, and the August Home Run list

Finding a tiny red feather in the bird bath

Past clients leaving awesome reviews for you on several different social media sites

Finishing an awesome book written by your neighbor

Having your 4th article published in TexasHillCountry.com… this time about the Johnson City Ghost

Visiting a past client who is still really happy about the home he purchased two years ago

Nine hours of sleep (in one night!)

Your hummingbird plant finally blooming!

I hope you are able to find sweet!s in your day, even if you are caught up in a catastrophe like the floods in Louisiana. I do believe there is light even on the darkest days. If we look hard enough, we'll see it.

"To the lamp of love: may it burn brightest in the darkest hours and never flicker in the winds of trial." ~Author Unknown
Thirty-Four Years… wait, thirty-four years?

August 13, 2016

One thing you learn in a long marriage is how many sneezes to wait before saying, "Bless you."

~Robert Brault

Aren't we cute? It's hard to believe that was 34 years ago.

Well, actually what's hard for me to believe is we're 34 years older than we were in that photo! We were newly pronounced man and wife, and eager to move forward together as one, beginning with a honeymoon in the Bahamas.

And that's how I still picture us in my mind.

One of the good things that come of a true marriage is, that there is one face on which changes come without your seeing them; or rather there is one face which you can still see the same, through all the shadows which years have gathered upon it.

~George MacDonald

Thirty-four years have passed in a blur of laughter, tears, frustration, relief, adventure, illness, challenge, excitement, celebration, perseverance, love, forgiveness, and blessings too numerous to count.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

~ 1 Corinthians 13:7

I didn't realize it at the time, of course, but looking back it's easy to see that God directed our footsteps to each other. As I mentioned in my last post, I believe God gives us what we need to get over the bumps he knows we will encounter in our lives. I also believe he provides what we need to challenge us and make us the best 'us' we can be, if we let him.

And while I don't always see it or appreciate it enough, Tom has definitely done both for me, supporting and indulging me in my dreams … encouraging, challenging, and believing in me when my self-confidence wavers.

Through him, because of him, I rediscovered my faith and God's great love. And I wouldn't have survived the past few years without that.

I can only hope Tom feels I've been more of a blessing than a curse in his life, too. I think too often he believes I have this philosophy…

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

~Rita Rudner

For all of you youngsters just starting out, wondering what the secret is to a long marriage, I'll confess that I'm still not sure. But I do have three tips:

1. Ask God to help you love your spouse with His love (because yours won't be enough sometimes!)

2. Procrastination can be your friend.

3. I didn't think of this one, but it's a good one: "To keep the fire burning brightly there's one easy rule: Keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enough apart — about a finger's breadth — for breathing room. Good fire, good marriage, same rule." ~Marnie Reed Crowell

Happy 34th anniversary to my amazing, crazy, gifted, stubborn, generous Tom. I give thanks every single day for you, and for all of the beautiful, tiny threads of our life that bind us together.

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.

~Simone Signoret
Sweet is the voice of a sister…

August 11, 2016

Sweet is the voice of a sister in the season of sorrow, and wise is the counsel of those who love us.

~Benjamin Disraeli

When Mama found out she was pregnant with me, she and Daddy already had three children… Buster, 11; Brenda, 7; and Donnie, 4.

Brenda, sandwiched between those two rowdy boys, told Mama, "If that's another boy, I'll just scream!" and Mama said "I'll join you!" Mama loved to tell me that story, and I loved to hear it!

God, in his infinite mercy, sent them a baby girl (me!), but he also had mercy on me by sending me to them. I believe God, knowing what is to come in our lives, gives us whatever we need to get over the bumps, and for me, that started with my family, including – and maybe, especially – my sister, Brenda.

"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."

~ Philippians 4:19

From my first breath, she has been there for me, right next to my mother and father, loving me with that same unconditional love that now causes her to relate stories of my brattiness – like hitting a friend of hers with a baton when I was three and they were eleven because they wouldn't let me play Monopoly – as if that was the cutest thing in the world!

Monopoly-exclusion aside, for the most part she always made me feel like a peer, letting me tag along with her and her boyfriends, or even just doing things with me, like going to the movies or the beach or on road trips to visit our grandparents.

I've already written about those days here and here and here. And last year I wrote here about how grateful I was to have her by my side as we said goodbye to our childhood home.

But I've never been more grateful to God for my big sister than this past year when she joined me to stand vigil by Mama's side in the hospital as we said goodbye.

Brenda worried she would just be more trouble for me, or get in my way, because her Parkinson's makes it difficult for her to walk. And that first night was difficult, because my house is such a physical challenge. For one thing, there's a 30 to 40 foot inclined stone path leading to our front door. It's beautiful, and I love it, but it's even difficult for me to get up and down it sometimes.

So we opted to stay in a hotel close to the hospital the rest of the time she was here. Much easier on both of us. And the memories of us grabbing something to eat, then watching HGTV together in our hotel room while sipping on tiny bottles of Cabernet, will forever soften the overall heartache of my mother's passing.

Brenda's presence recharged me… helped me recognize the grace and love surrounding us… and gave me the strength and clarity I needed to let go.

I realize God put me in my sister's life for a reason, too, and I only hope that she feels I've been as much of a gift and blessing as she's been to me all of my life.

Today is her birthday. To celebrate, she traveled to Louisiana yesterday for a night of gambling, and I'm happy to report she won; she's a craps and blackjack queen. I'm grateful she's surrounded by friends who love her, since I'm hours away, to be sure she receives even a portion of the love and laughter she gives to others.

A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life.

~Isadora James

Amen!

Happy birthday to my beautiful big sister, Brenda! I love you!
Getting Unstuck, and other sweet!s…

August 7, 2016

At the time of my last 'sweet' post, I mentioned going through one of the boxes of my mom's things and crying when I came across her uneaten Easter candy. In all honesty, I fell into a funk that day that I just couldn't shake… like a perpetual gray cloud was hovering above my head.

Usually those gray clouds only stick around a day. I'm pretty good at focusing on the positive out of habit. I listen mostly to Christian stations in my car (upbeat and positive, nothing depressing or sad … music is powerful!) and have learned to silence those negative voices in my head before they really get going.

After all, I've spent the last few years stepping forward in faith and dealing with a lot of transition – I wouldn't have survived otherwise. But even though this was a relatively thin gray cloud, it lingered for days.

And then the phrase "stuck in a moment" popped in my head. I realized that's exactly where I was – stuck in a moment that I couldn't get out of.

I dug out a U2 CD and popped it in. The first song that played was "It's a Beautiful Day"… and it was like someone jerked aside the curtains and let sunshine into a room. Yes, it really was a beautiful day, or at least it was going to be. I was determined not to let another one get away without seeing some beauty in it.

I could sense the gray cloud thinning even more.

"Stuck in a Moment" came on a few songs later…

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment and now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better, now
You're stuck in a moment and you can't get out of it.

By the end of the song, that gray cloud was gone.

I still have a mountain of my parents' things piled in the middle of my living room waiting for me to sort through. I know that gray cloud will drift in again – sometimes I can sense it there on the edge – but it's good to know U2 has my back. And it's good to feel the sunshine with no clouds blocking it. Definitely sweet!

I met up with two dear friends for lunch a couple of days ago in a funky little part of south Austin. While munching on Torchy's Tacos (I recommend the "Crossroads"!), we tried to cram as much conversation and cover as many subjects as possible in the short time we had. The more history you have with someone, the more ground you have to cover in a 'catch-up' session, and we all have a lot of history with each other, spanning decades.

Exactly three weeks ago I was doing the same thing, only on a grander scale and spanning a weekend, in a lake house at Lake Livingston with 16 other women I've known since at least high school, but some since elementary school. We call ourselves the Deer Park Divas, and try to get together at least once a year, but that doesn't always happen. This was the first one in a couple of years and was only possible because two of the women opened up their lake houses to us. And of course, there are many who couldn't make it.

I've hosted a couple and it's a lot of work, so I truly appreciate them putting together this therapy session…

… because when you get together with friends who have known you for decades, you can't help but be yourself. You can pretty much talk about anything without fear of judgement because they know you… the all of you… and because everyone has been through something by now, and survived.

They remind you you will survive whatever it is you're going through at the moment. Or, you'll be able to assure someone else they will survive whatever they are experiencing, because you've been through it.

That's the key.

No matter what it is, we're assured we can survive it, because of our friends. Divorce, cancer, death of a sibling, a husband, a child… and almost all of us have experienced the death of at least one parent. In fact, one friend lost her mother right before the weekend, and another lost her dad two weeks after, both from cancer. She couldn't stay the night because she needed to take him for a treatment early the next morning.

Yet, look… there are smiles on everyone's faces!

I have some tough, awesome, wonderful, amazing friends, don't I? I'm grateful for the history we share.

(This was a magnet I gave my mom years ago. She was the toughest woman I know!)

Another sweet!… air conditioning. Our outside temperature has been in the triple digits for days. Maybe weeks! It's just a blur of heat, sunshine, and sweat!

I can remember when my childhood home had no air conditioning. Instead, there was a huge fan in our attic (hence, we called it "the attic fan") which somehow pulled enough air through the screens of our open windows to keep us cool during those hot, humid summers in Houston.

At least it must have, because I don't remember feeling miserably, vaporously overheated like I did earlier this week when our air conditioner decided to stop working.

I'm grateful for our air-conditioner repairman who, for the third year in a row, has been able to patch up our old system to get us through the rest of summer. We will definitely get a new system this fall. I think our repairman is as relieved as we are!

Those are the three major sweet!s of the past few weeks. Here are a few others …

Visiting your mom's aides and noticing her rose bush is surviving the hot, dry summer outside the nursing home where she lived.

A friend passing her real estate exam!

A cooler-than-normal morning when your air conditioner breaks

Driving around a funky south Austin neighborhood with one of your forever friends, admiring the eclectic architecture

Sitting on your back porch with your puppy watching the sun splash over your hollow, letting the busy birds entertain you

Receiving wonderful reviews from past clients

A client offering a cool room for the night at their home when your air conditioning is out

Noticing gorgeous sunsets before they disappear

Playing a part in helping a friend in Greece sell their property

Your puppy playing a joke on you by stealing your shoes while you're in the shower

Helping out with a memorial service at your church for the family of a parishioner who passed away

The arrival of your Cheesy Sauce from The Honest Stand, a company that a dear friend's son helped create

Phone calls with your sister, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and dear friends

Reconnecting with a friend from your childhood neighborhood on Facebook

A cardinal nest in a tree right outside your front door

Getting to visit with a sweet friend from high school while showing property to her and her husband

Spending a day showing property to a new out-of-state client

Finding out a "neighbor" was caught stealing electricity through an illegal wire and stopped before he "accidentally" set fire to your neighborhood

Having other neighbors who help keep an eye on your neighborhood

A chance to visit with another dear high school friend while she's in town visiting her sister

Rain, even if it's just lasts a day

New listings

A stranger in the grocery store noticing, and taking the time to warn you, that a man is showing a lot of interest in you before he has a chance to steal your purse

Morning walks with your daughter, your puppy, and the neighbor's dogs while the neighbors are away on vacation

Kittens… their playfulness, purring, and sandpaper kisses

Paychecks

A former client referring you to someone he sees buying a For Sale By Owner sign in your local Ace Hardware store.

Finding a blue feather from a Mexican Jay

Celebrating your baby girl's 25th birthday

A hummingbird discovering your hibiscus bud

Publishing an article about your little town

Finally finishing a blog post you've worked on little by little for three days!

If you stuck with this until the end, thank you!!

I hope this coming week overflows with sweet! moments, memories, and music that lifts you up!

"And I am glad to see, that you have also put to flight the gloomy thoughts which used to haunt you. I like to see people cheerful and happy. What is the use of giving way to sadness in this beautiful world?"

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Hyperion, A Romance, "The Evening and the Morning Star," 1839
The Last First 25 Years…

July 30, 2016

"The first fact about the celebration of birthdays is that it is a good way of affirming defiantly, and even flamboyantly, that it is a good thing to be alive."

~G.K. Chesterton, "Our Birthday," 1935

TG turned 25 two weeks ago. She spent it floating the San Marcos River with her boyfriend, brothers, sister-in-law, and other friends, while I snuck away for a weekend with my Divas at Lake Livingston.

But she let us celebrate it when I returned with her favorites: pizza, chocolate cake (courtesy of my daughter-in-law) and a surprise bottle of champagne, because she really never asks for anything.

Only fitting for a first quarter century birthday, right?

However, I've felt like a terrible mom and blogger that I haven't wished her a happy birthday here yet, as I always do. But I've been trying to sort out my thoughts about my baby – my youngest baby – turning 25. It's a true milestone for both of us!

I can't put it off any longer, though. I'll just try my best to sort them out now…

She was my last baby. But from the time a baby draws its first breath, it begins growing up, a steady progression from infant to toddler to pre-teen to college student to grown-up. There's nothing you can do to stop it, even if you wanted to.

But why would you want to? Each age of your child is an amazing thing to behold, even when they get so grown it makes you realize how old you are and how fast your life is flying by.

This past year has been one of transition and clarity. When I realized my mom was going downhill… when I sensed that my time with her on earth was limited… my focus shifted to just being there for her, making sure she knew she wasn't alone.

Looking back, I can see that TG shifted her focus at the same time, whether she knew it or not… except it was to be there for me, to be sure I knew I wasn't alone as my mother drifted further away from me.

So instead of sad memories filling those last few months, I remember a lot of bantering and teasing and my mother's eyes lit with joy at the sight of her beautiful, funny, smart granddaughter. There are memories of us laughing at corny Hallmark movies, Walker-Texas Ranger, and the Golden Girls, and of getting up earlier than normal on Sunday mornings to maneuver Mama's wheelchair into the chapel for Baptist services.

I'll never forget TG passing out hymnals, charming the other residents, and holding up her hymnal where Mama could see it.

It had been TG's idea to attend the services with Mama, so it's to her that I'm eternally grateful for my last "truly alive" memories of Mama: the feel of her hand clinging to mine while three generations sang the hymns of my childhood together.

And then, of course, TG and Daniel were both there beside me during that long night in the hospital as I said my last goodbye to Mama. They were no longer children needing my attention, just there for me and their grandmother … friends supporting us and helping me have strength to be there for my own mom as she traveled past the pain of this life.

The thing is (as my mother loved to say)… somewhere along the way, when I wasn't looking, my babies grew up.

And it's an amazing thing to behold.

Happy 25th birthday, TG!

I hope the next quarter century is filled with love, laughter, and wonderful memories.

Your sweet soul deserves it.

I love you, precious girl.

"A daughter is a little girl who grows up to be a friend." ~Author Unknown
Slide Projectors and other sweets

July 10, 2016

Last Saturday night I pulled out my grandmother's slide projector, propped it on my kitchen table, and went back in time through the images splashed on the wall above our stairs.

Most I had never seen before, like the one above of my grandmother standing in a field of bluebonnets. What you are seeing is actually an iPhone capture of the projection on my wall. I felt the need to share these with my siblings and cousins, and that was the fastest way.

The quality was greatly diminished, of course, but I felt it gave them the same dreamy quality I was feeling as they carried me back to my childhood. To me, this one looks more like a painting than a photograph. Don't you think so?

One of my cousins (the one on the left in the image below) has offered to scan all of these. She is also the one who regularly visited my mom, always bringing new clothes and treats, so her generous offer doesn't surprise me. I am blessed to have her!

(The beauty on the right is my big sister. The little brat in the middle is me, of course.)

In my opinion, that was definitely a sweet way to spend a Saturday night, and the gratitude and reactions from my family even sweeter.

Here are some other sweet!s from the past week…

A tiny hummingbird appears to have taken up residence off of our back deck.

Since I no longer keep a hummingbird feeder, this seems strange to me.

(I read several years ago that the sugar-water can turn rancid really fast in the extreme heat of our Texas summers, potentially poisoning the little birds. It's necessary to change out the water often, and I don't trust my memory to do so.)

So the semi-regular sightings of this busy little bird is such a joy. Several times it has flown close to me as I stand saying my prayers near the railing, and this morning it flew up to my library window, just a couple of feet away from me at my desk.

My mother was partial to hummingbirds. I like to think she somehow has a hand in sending this one to say hello… and make me smile.

(How can you not smile when you see a hummingbird?)

I have no photos of it, but I do have this one of Lake Austin taken from a home an agent friend was holding open this afternoon.

I was on my way home from showing properties to a high school friend's son, so I decided to stop and say hi to my agent friend, and check out the listing. Three sweet!s in one trip!

I'm still working my way through the mountain of my mom's things in my living room. Yesterday's box was full of some items from her room at the nursing home.

Overall, I'm at peace with her passing. But for some reason emptying this box made me acutely aware of the physical absence of her from my life, especially seeing her Bible bag, which contained both her and Daddy's Bibles, along with several notes tucked in the pages, and also a cardboard Easter egg box I gave her full of Hershey's miniatures this past Easter. There were still several pieces of candy left.

Now, I believe in heaven, and I know it is much better than chocolate. And I truly am happy that Mama is at peace and with Daddy now. But the tears came anyway, and I let them.

I still count this as a sweet!, because to miss someone, they first had to be a part of you. To feel sorrow or sadness, you must have also felt joy and happiness and love.

They were and I did. Amen.

I had a second article published in TexasHillCountry.com called "Beyond the Bluebonnets – 5 Other Things You Should Know About Willow City", about a small town near Enchanted Rock, one of my favorite places. Yay!

Going to my office to pick up a commission check and discovering another one I hadn't expected!

Another University of Texas mom calling me for help, based on referrals from other parents.

One of my clients had specific requirements and a busy work-travel schedule. After working with her off and on for about a year, we finally closed on a property last week that turned out to be just what she was needing.

We won in a multiple offer situation, so that was doubly sweet! To celebrate, we had lunch at the Shady Grove, one of my favorite restaurants.

(This photo is of the back of the restaurant – taking a photo was an afterthought! But look at that tree!)

Summer nights… refreshing, soft breezes, stars speckling the sky, cicadas and frogs singing in the background.

As usual, there were a few lakefront properties on the Lago Vista property tour this past week. I never get tired of seeing a full Lake Travis!

Giving another agent a ride on the tour and getting to know her better.

Some friends from my church warning me they are trying to convince some friends in California it's time to move to Austin and want me to help them when the time comes.

I spent the 4th of July outside, but not out on the lake or even in a park eating hot dogs and hamburgers. I took advantage of a holiday (and the sudden motivation) to mow our small front yard, organize my yard signs, and just generally clean up around the outside of our house.

Most importantly, I discovered the joy of a power blower! I had so much fun clearing the clippings and dead leaves off the porch floor… and then the small insect webs off the ceiling!

I didn't know it could do that! Much better than using a broom.

Afterward, I rewarded myself with a Shiner Ruby Redbird beer on the porch swing. I don't normally drink beer, but it just seemed like the patriotic thing to do.

(It was awesome!)

Despite the national tragedies of this past week, I hope all of you had plenty of sweet! moments. But more importantly, I hope you rededicated yourself to love and forgiveness, including forgiving the inexcusable. I believe it will take each of us doing that to attain true peace in our country and the world.

The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you.

~John E. Southard
Parades, Freedom, and other sweet!s…

July 3, 2016

"I been one poor correspondent, and I been too, too hard to find, but it doesn't mean you ain't been on my mind."

~ America, "Sister Golden Hair"

Despite good intentions, I don't blog as much as I'd like anymore, or have time to visit those of my favorite bloggers. But I'm hanging on to those intentions and plan to just drop in as frequently as I can for now, grateful that my business is keeping me so… well, busy. That's a pretty major sweet!

I do make time to collect my sweet!s in an old black journal every day before they drift right out of my head. Obviously they are much lighter than worries, wrongs, and perceived bad luck, because those tend to stick around in my memory on their own and weigh me down unless I switch my perspective by focusing on the blessings and sweet surprises of the day.

Since this is the 4th of July weekend, my thoughts are turned toward my wonderful country, the United States of America, because it's her birthday! There are plenty of things to worry about regarding her, but in all honesty, there has never been a truly 'easy' time for everyone here. It's a continual give-and-take when you're trying to protect everyone's freedom. One person's freedom usually steps on someone else's.

But we're still going strong. I believe so, anyway. We've survived a lot. I'm grateful we celebrate with parades and festivals that bring us together… all the different sizes, shapes, and flavors of us … and with fireworks that remind us that the birth of this country wasn't an easy one.

My small town started the 4th of July celebration early: our parade was yesterday morning, followed by a festival and fireworks over the lake last night. I skipped the festival, but did enjoy the parade from the sidelines and the fireworks from a friend's backyard that has an amazing view of Lake Travis.

I wish I had a photo for you, but imagine sparkling, shimmering fireworks against a backdrop of low-lying hills and distant eruptions from other firework displays from surrounding communities.

The lake itself glittered gem-like from all of the boats anchored there to watch the show. From the park below, strains of "The Star-Spangled Banner" drifted up to us, and after the grand finale, cheers and applause echoed from the darkness around us.

Yes, I'm still proud to be an American. I know I'm not the only one.

And now for some other sweet!s from the… WHAT?? It's been three months since my last real "sweet!" post?

Holy cow. Where does the time go?

Well, I won't bore you by listing all of them, but here are a few highlights – quite a few – working backward through June, May, and April …

Your grown kids hanging out and having fun together.

Working as a team with other agents, lenders, and the title company to make it to closing on a challenging transaction.

Following through on promises you make to yourself.

A little hummingbird buzzing up close to you while you say your prayers on your back deck.

Being able to help blog friends with their real estate needs.

Morning walks with your puppy.

Remembering that your joy and happiness come from God, and are independent of other people, circumstances, or events.

Phone calls with your mother-in-law… sister-in-law… sister … dear friends…

Your kids helping you with little projects around the house that have been bugging you.

Your clients' offers being accepted in multiple-offer situations.

Seeing and hearing James Taylor in person for the first time.

A full Lake Travis.

Spending a day with a longtime friend, helping him find a home in Austin.

Finally getting to see your brother's new home and have a long visit with him and his family. Your brother's smile.

A gender-reveal party, where everyone found out at the same time that a friend's daughter will be having a daughter of her own.

Helping organize a successful parish picnic.

Finally experiencing Blanco's Lavender Festival… and Lavender beer!

Playing your drums when you realize you have the house all to yourself

A longtime friend sending you two jars of homemade fig preserves

A cookout with friends at a park on the lake, like you used to do all the time when your kids were little

Spotting a fawn nursing in the yard of a house you're showing to a buyer

A visit from your brother-in-law and his family

Watching your nieces and nephews play Bubble Soccer at a festival near the lake

Dinner with friends you haven't seen in months

Hanging on to voice mails from your mom so you can still listen to her voice when she's gone

Your husband's successful gall bladder surgery

Having an article published in TexasHillCountry.com

Your Keller Williams Market Center choosing your mom's nursing home as their RED Day focus, and planting a pink rosebush beside a bench at the entrance in your mom's honor

All of your kids with you on Mother's Day

A friend singing "Lily of the Valley" after Mass on Mother's Day, in honor of your mom

Tulips from your sister on Mother's Day

Overwhelming love and support from friends and family when you lose your mom

Memories of many Sunday church services shared with your mom at her nursing home; the volunteers who provide them

Friends helping you celebrate your birthday at "Painting with a Twist"

Being able to tell your mom "thank you" on your birthday – and remembering to do so.

Watching the sunset over Lake Travis on your birthday

I hope the past three months held plenty of sweet! moments for you, too, and the next three bring even more. Share some in the comments!

"Hem your blessings with thankfulness so they don't unravel."

~Author Unknown

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