A gray day spent dealing with frustrations over computer glitches, rude people, and staff who are so quick to deny responsibility for a problem that they fail to listen or offer productive advice (their job – what my money is paying them to do.)

A day I dreaded, because I anticipated all of these problems and I have a bad temper, sometimes volcanic, one that can crumble into tears and that's especially triggered by rude people who don't do their jobs, by bullies, and by people who abuse their position or power.  

I didn't want to lose my temper today, although I think anger has its place, if it's justified and channeled into peaceful, productive action or awareness.

Which mine often isn't.

Peace. I want to be at peace…think peaceful, loving thoughts. I want to focus on my blessings.

Rude, uncaring people ruffle my peace and too often blind me to my blessings.

But that's my challenge. Something I have to learn to deal with and not allow, for the sake of my own spirit. I've gone the tit for tat route before; it doesn't make me happy, that's for sure, and never fixes a problem. Usually, it makes it worse.

“Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

I spotted this on Facebook (thanks, Ellen!)… posted, I'm sure, in light of the tragic shootings in Tucson.

I've witnessed a lot of finger-pointing over the shootings.  It's true, many politicians and political commentators – red, blue and all colors in between – use incendiary rhetoric, toss off half-true accusations and insults and call each other names … then off-camera they pat each other on the back, smile, shake hands. To them, it's just part of the job. A game, perhaps. A carry-over from their high school debate team days. They don't understand how their words are often seeds planting hatred and mistrust in frustrated people. 

I hope the shooting leads to an awareness of the problem, to verbal responsibility and a call for kindness among our lawmakers and media.

But remember "When you point a finger in blame at someone else, you have three more pointing back at yourself!"

If any of us nonpolitical types spouts off at someone else, calls someone an insulting name, forgets to put ourselves in their shoes or try to see an issue from any angle but our own, if we repeat the inflammatory stories (especially without checking the facts first) then I think we're also guilty of contributing to the dark energy that feeds people like Jared Loughner.

I promised myself that today I would remain calm. I prayed to be filled with love and understanding, with eyes open to my blessings, even as I was faced with a cold, gray day and potentially temper-triggering frustrations.

It was the least I could do for the victims of the shootings.

And it worked…for the most part.

I'm going to try it again tomorrow. What about you?

Remember this? Click on the image for a reminder.

Dona noba pacem image

 

 

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18 responses to “Gray Days and Peace”

  1. Jillsy Girl Avatar

    YOU…have a bad temper? I would never have guessed that about you. I learned an important lesson the year I got married. Without going into details, I let myself blow a gasket at one of my dearest friends. Even though she might have deserved the words I spewed, all I do know is that after the initial feeling of relief that lasted less than an hour, I felt absolutely miserable. That feeling lasted for an entire year until I finally gave in and made peace with her. I said I would never do that again, ever, no matter how much I felt the person might deserve it. It’s just not worth it. But…one exception….I will hang up the phone on a rude employee! 🙂

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  2. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    I guess I should say I'm a Recovering Bad Temper. I haven't blown a gasket in quite a while (I can't remember the last time!), but I realize that it's in there…the potential for it. Menopause has actually made me more even-tempered than I was. Weird!  I might still hang on up a rude or aggressive person, but I don't even have to be angry to do that! lol

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  3. Kate Avatar

    I remember.
    Sounds like your day was a lot like mine. I was so upset that people couldn’t just do what they were supposed to do. I’m getting all worked up again just thinking about it now.
    I ran across this quote today (I don’t know who said it, sorry) but I think it’s perfect for these gray days! And that is what I shall try to do tomorrow too!
    I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.

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  4. linlah Avatar

    I recently had a young collegue come to me and beg forgivness for deleting some of my work to which I responded it can be redone, it’s no big deal. I had a temper loke you and for some reason it has gone out like a bad bulb.
    For that I’m grateful

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  5. Sally G. Avatar

    Hi Kate!
    Here’s that quote in its entirety:
    “I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do. What I can do, I should do. And what I should do, by the grace of God, I will do.” ~ Edward Everett Hale

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  6. Sally G. Avatar

    Good morning everyone!
    Years ago, I read a book by Neale Donald Walsch that, in part, spoke to the power of putting the emotion you’d like to carry through the day BEFORE the events/circumstances/people you ultimately encounter. Doing this forces you to be mindful, consciously choosing thoughts, words and actions that will support the feeling you want to hold and manifest rather than giving away your power and control to the whimsy of circumstance and reaction to others.
    It really does work ~ though you have to be willing to let go of an inner need to feel validated or justified in ‘suffering’ at the hands of ignorance, stupidity, bad behaviour, etc. of others.
    I don’t get angry very often ~ though Parent Council meetings at my daughters’ elementary schools would challenge my Patience and Tolerance at Herculean levels. For whatever reason, these parent/school councils seem to serve as magnets for limited thinkers, anti-creative types and speedbumps bent on slowing momentum to progress. (Whew, almost spiralled into a rant there.)
    Anyway, going into said meetings of general stupidity and dysfunction ~ I’d focus on Harmony and Partnership. So rather than lowering myself to the ignorance and pettiness around me – I’d choose thoughts, words and actions that would, instead, invite Harmony and Productive Partnership. (You’ll have to trust me that I succeeded in that forum in a way I am clearly NOT demonstrating here.)
    I think Menopause is a wonderful time in our lives for many reasons – one being that we tend to devote more energy and attention to what really matters. And angry responses seldom ever really matter.

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  7. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    I think that's so important, to decide first thing in the morning that no matter what you have to deal with that day (you know there'll be something!) you'll do it with grace. I'll have to look for that book. There's a Catholic morning prayer that essentially offers up your tears and sufferings of that day (in advance) as a prayer for others. I know what you mean about those school meetings, though – that's kind of what I was dealing with yesterday. When it pertains to my kids, that's when my temper wakes up!

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  8. Barbara Shallue Avatar
  9. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    I'm grateful mine has settled down, too! That was commendable of your colleague to confess and ask for forgiveness – in this day and age too many people just try to pass the buck and cover up mistakes!

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  10. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    That is a wonderful quote. I hope today is better for you!

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  11. cyndee Avatar

    tempers not such a bad thing if it’s constructive. but keeping it in and not letting it out can be worse. i guess there is a fine line there someplace. mother always said there would be days like that.

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  12. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Very true! I think we need to get angry sometimes. But there's definitely a line I shouldn't cross!!

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  13. Lady Fi Avatar

    Temper is sometimes constructive, but incendiary language, especially from people who lead, is destructive as has been seen by the last sad shooting.
    I too hope for compassion and kindness.

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  14. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    I agree, and hope this is an awakening for all of us, but especially for those of us who's words carry more weight.

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  15. Mimi Lenox Avatar

    Thanks for the reminder. We all walk through many frustrations everyday. I have to constantly remind myself to breathe….Peace to you today.
    Mimi

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  16. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thanks, Mimi. And thanks for all you do to promote peace in our world!

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  17. Spanisheyes Avatar

    Wonderful post! I wish today someone I know would have read this before pointing fingers…
    P.S. I was a volcano once upon a time.

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  18. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    I'm not surprised you used to be a volcano – I remember that 'woman at the airport' story!! She's lucky the volcano is a little more dormant!

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