I walked at dusk, a tangerine glow still lining the horizon, not quite snuffed by the night sky. The wind blew hard, but it was comforting, like a friend's reassuring hug, and its roaring in my ear was a lullaby, soothing.

While the puppies hunted for lizards and rough-housed in the sand, I turned inward, flipping through my thoughts, trying to sort and organize and figure out why I feel so scattered, why I feel someone has stolen minutes from my day.

I just can't get as much done as I used to and I don't know why.

My brain feels as dry as the land around me, and that doesn't help. My words and thoughts are wilted, sluggish, thirsty for more writing time.

And yet, hasn't my time for writing always been like that, just bits and pieces shared by so many different projects that they're worn thin like tattered hand-me-downs, tossed aside into the nooks and crannies of my day? What's different now?

Maybe it's not the amount of time, but the rhythm of my day. Maybe it's the other things competing with space in my brain…things like jobs and money, dreams and reality, love and heartache, concerns about family and friends.

Maybe it's just the weather.

But the wind blew my cloud of melancholy away. Despite the heat, the drought and the horsefly circling me, preparing to strike, it was a beautiful evening and my blessings are too numerous to count.

Here's one… My sister Brenda got the okay from her doctor to put weight on her hip. She's back home again, with her husband and cat. I know she appreciates how Mama and Daddy embraced her and cared for her while she recuperated from hip surgery, but three months is a long time to be away from home and I'm happy for all of them.

Yeah, maybe I'm dropping things lately like so much loose change slipping through my fingers, but I've also taken care of a few to-do's that have waited patiently for my attention, such as finally posting (and selling!) stuff via Craig's List, starting back on writing my book semi-daily, cleaning up my hard drive to free up some space… um, maybe that's it. But that's something.

By the way, did you see the full moon this week? I always count it as a blessing, one that helps me put the trivial things of my life into perspective. I remembered to take a few shots of its progression – they don't do it justice, but they're still my Friday Favorite Photos picks, reminding me to stop, focus, breathe, be still.

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Oh, and here's a favorite quote from the week. It has nothing to do with anything else I wrote – I just like it…

Preconceived notions are the locks on the door to wisdom.

Merry Browne

Hope you are having a wonderful Friday!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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17 responses to “Time, Water and other missing things (plus Friday’s Favorite Photos)”

  1. Jillsy Girl Avatar

    Well, if nothing else, this post is written in the style that I’ve come to know you by. Your words flow like wine and wrap themselves around you.

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  2. missing moments Avatar

    Love your moon shots … I totally failed at capturing them … but I’ll keep working on it!
    More writing time … yes! I need more discipline. Hubster is working on his own book and commits 3 hours a day to it while having a full time job. He makes me look like a slacker … WHICH I AM NOT! LOL ….

    Like

  3. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Wow, now that's dedication. I could dedicate 3 hours a day to my book if I quit blogging, stopped taking photos, stopped reading blogs or checking email and Facebook, but what fun would that be?

    Like

  4. walker Avatar

    I often find myself scattered as well, with pulls and tugs from many directions. And, when I get to the end of what feels like an unproductive day, as I did Thursday, I made a list of all I had accomplished. It was a Wow moment.
    You juggle so much, we all do and it’s a challenge at times. I love that you take the time to pause and look around, snap photos, give thanks…. Thank you for sharing that struggle, as you’re not alone at all!
    As an aside, have you thought about hormonal changes and their impact?

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  5. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    I know hormones have a bit of an effect, but it's funny…I actually don't get nearly as stressed or upset about everything as I used to now that MP has arrived. I think that keeps me from being quite as driven, and as a result, I don't get as much accomplished (or as you said, I don't think I am.) I'll take less stress over accomplishment though (most days.)

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  6. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thanks, Jill 🙂

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  7. Bella Casa Avatar

    Beautiful photos again today. Boy do I understand what you are talking about here, Barbara, I beg for more time each and every day …time just to do what I love to do. I think the speed of our environment dictates the speed in which everybody wants everything done …they want things done right now or yesterday. We have email, fax machines, and the Internet …why wouldn’t others expect things to be done immediately?

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  8. Gods Little People Avatar

    Hi Barbara
    Your moon images are pretty amazing (seen with my eye). I made a few failed attempts at capturing the moon this week.
    I love the quote – what a brilliant little widsom.

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  9. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Maybe that's what it is – we're just moving too fast, trying to pack more in than we used to and it just feels like we have less time. 

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  10. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    I became obsessed with moon photography this past year and can usually get at least one pretty good one. It's a good excuse to stand out there and stare at it!

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  11. linlah Avatar

    Love that first photo and the moon is one of my favorite subjects to shoot.

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  12. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Mine, too (as you can see!)

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  13. Wolf Pascoe Avatar

    This is James Wright, Lying in a Hammock at Duffy’s Farm:
    Over my head, I see the bronze butterfly,
    Asleep on the black trunk,
    blowing like a leaf in green shadow.
    Down the ravine behind the empty house,
    The cowbells follow one another
    Into the distances of the afternoon.
    To my right,
    In a field of sunlight between two pines,
    The droppings of last year’s horses
    Blaze up into golden stones.
    I lean back, as the evening darkens and comes on.
    A chicken hawk floats over, looking for home.
    I have wasted my life.
    I don’t think Wright felt he wasted his life all the time, but he sure felt it that day.

    Like

  14. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thanks for sharing the poem, Wolf. I think these feelings are to be expected in life, but it's comforting to know others experience them, too (and get past them!)

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  15. Gail Avatar

    I love how you write, Barbara. And I can so relate to most of what you say thought I can’t articulate it nearly as well as you! This last year or so I have felt so scattered and unable to do as much as I used to. But every now and then there is a bright spot, making me feel alive again, able to accomplish anything and also the feeling that it’s okay if I don’t get it all done.
    Love your moon shots! Especially the first one. That blue is heavenly. 🙂

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  16. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    I had a feeling I wasn't the only one feeling scattered, but it's reassuring to hear someone say it. I guess it has something to do with our age…?? Sigh.

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  17. Juana Avatar

    You sure write beautiful, even with a scattered brain! That’s talent!!!
    And I am happy to hear you are back on track with your book! YAY!!!
    Sigh… those shots are AWESOME!!!

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