T and me first day s

I was 26.

I had felt the life inside of me, kicking my ribs, pressing on my bladder. Had heard the amplified swoosh swoosh of the heartbeat in the doctor's office. Had spent all night and most of the morning gritting my teeth and breathing heh-heh-heh through the waves of pain.

And then, there you were. My baby boy. 

They wrapped you in blue blankets, covered your head to keep it warm, and placed you in my nervous arms. 

I'd never held a baby this small before. Never even changed a diaper. How could I be a mother? What if I hurt you? The feeling swelled up from deep inside… I would die if anything happened to you. The strength of that thought overwhelmed me. The truth of it rang in my heart, through my bones and every pore of my body.

Your tiny face, so close to mine. Eyes tinted blue, bottomless pools that gazed into mine, full of all the wisdom of the world. I fell into those eyes, felt the miracle and mystery of life, all God-doubts forgotten. I was forever changed. 

Happy 26th birthday, Tommy! Meeting you and watching you grow into the man you've become has been one of the sweetest adventures of my life! 

And now for a few sweet moments from the past week…

Sunday: weddings and cake balls; a clear night sky full of stars; the glow of porch light when you get home late at night

Monday: warm jackets on frosty autumn mornings; working at home so you can take drum-playing breaks

Tuesday: your old puppy well enough, not only just to walk, but to run a little and play with his little sister; a church busy with helping hands

Wednesday: a fire in the woodburning stove on a cold morning; a few seconds in a clearing in the woods, just breathing; witnessing the Holy Spirit at work; news that your father-in-law is better and out of the hospital

Thursday: a card in the mail from a friend, just because it made her think of you; editing photos on your son's faster computer and larger monitor

Friday: sitting on the back porch, sipping coffee, watching waves of misty rain parade past; good news on a friend's major surgery; singing happy birthday to your son and thinking of all of the other birthdays gone by; a house full of twenty-somethings

Saturday: a house full of twenty-somethings; chatting with your oldest on the morning of his 26th birthday, wishing him happy birthday face-to-face

Hope you all have had a week full of sweet! moments, too!

And Tommy, I'm hoping 26 is as sweet for you as it was for me!

 

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19 responses to “26 Sweets (and then some)”

  1. Gail Avatar

    Cake balls! YUM. 🙂
    Happy birthday to your “baby” boy. May blessings abound. (love the photo; such a touching moment)

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  2. Bella Casa Avatar

    What beautiful memories you are creating her, Barb, for your family and friends. I applaud you for your determination and am grateful to have found your blog because it is such an inspiration to all women.
    Jan @ BellaCasa
    WhereWomenBlog.com

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  3. Hilary Avatar

    Awww very sweet, Barbara. Happy Birthday to your boy.

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  4. Spanisheyes Avatar

    Happy 26th Birthday Tommy!!! Oh, Barbara, what a wonderful photo with your first born…Mama’s love shines through!I got so emotional with this post- You got me rolling big, fat tears!
    I am so very happy that your father in law is feeling better. Happy too, that Max was up and about and doing better.
    I hope many more sweets come your way. You deserve them! 🙂

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  5. Liz White Avatar
    Liz White

    You so beautifully described the new mother experience! If possible, I would get pregnant over and over just so I could experience all that again! It’s what God designed us to do ❤

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  6. Walker Thornton Avatar

    Sounds like a great week. I think motherhood can be considered one of our best accomplishments at times…

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  7. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Definitely! (Despite my mistakes!)

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  8. Wolf Pascoe Avatar

    Such beautiful, inspiring words. Everyone should have a chance to be a mother.

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  9. Ladyfi.wordpress.com Avatar

    How wonderful! Glad you had a great birthday – in person.

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  10. Pauline Avatar

    Love your weekly sweets and the lovely words you spoke to your son. Being a mother has been my greatest happiness, too.

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  11. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    One of life's sweetest surprises! Thanks, Pauline!

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  12. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    One of life's sweetest surprises! Thanks, Pauline!

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  13. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thanks, Wolf. I agree!

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  14. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thank you, Liz! Although as much as I loved that feeling, I knew after my third that was it for me… until grandbabies, anyway. Well, keeping my fingers crossed on that one.

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  15. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    I hope those were mostly happy tears, although if you're like me, they were also a bit melancholy. Sigh. 

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  16. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    I hope those were mostly happy tears, although if you're like me, they were also a bit melancholy. Sigh. 

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  17. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thank you, Hilary. I'll pass them on to him! As you can see, I'm wayyyy behind even on email!

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  18. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Jan, I read your sweet words on my phone the other day but with my computer issues I've fallen behind on everything. Thank you so much for this, though!

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  19. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Yes, YUM! I made Daniel eat the rest. Thank you for the bday wishes for my baby!

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