Tomorrow will mark four days in a row I didn't have to report to one job or another. That's a record. When I say "job", I'm not talking about working on my book or photography, but at one of those hourly paying gigs that help feed our bank account.

When I envisioned these four wide open days, I saw myself up early, typing away at my book, filling dozens of pages even before heading out for my morning walk with the puppies. I would then edit some photos, write a blog post or two before lunch, followed by making a major dent on my to-do notebook (it's expanded way beyond a list.) I would still have time to work out, and take the pups and my camera on an afternoon walk to the pond. 

Well, of course, in real life it didn't work out that way. I had so many odds and ends to take care of that it felt like my days just kind of piddled away.

I did manage to  work on my book a couple of times, edit some photos, and publish a blog post, but there are some major to-do's I still haven't tackled.

There's always tomorrow…

I say that too often these days.

The thing is… and I hate to put words to the phantom thoughts drifting through my brain.. but I'm beginning to think it's impossible to be a writer, photographer, blogger, personal historian, mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, waiter, substitute teacher, and…. um, I think that's it…. all at the same time.

But that doesn't mean I'm giving up. 

On one of my recent walks, I noticed new grapevine twisting around an old limb. Clinging, climbing, intent on moving ever up and up. I was first struck by the bright red color, but its tenacity is what mesmerizes and inspires me now. Tom cleared out as much grapevine as he could this winter – it tends to choke the trees – but grapevine is one stubborn, headstrong plant.

 

218resized

I want to be like that.

Last Wednesday night I attended a photography workshop by Clay Blackmore, a professional portrait photographer about my age who started with film thirty years ago. He had to make the switch to digital – and to edgier, artsy photos – to stay on top of his business.

The guy next to me and I started talking. He also was about my age and had been a film photographer who only recently picked up a digital camera, trying to get back into photography and make some money from it. I can't remember now what he asked me, but in answering him, I mentioned that I was writing a book as well as doing some portrait and art photography.

That's when the woman sitting in front of us, also about our age, turned around. She asked me about my book and how I found my critique group. Seems she started writing a romance novel twenty years ago herself, but set it on a shelf somewhere along the way. It had been gnawing on her lately to dust it off and finish it, but she just hadn't done it yet.

When we said good night a little later, I told her "Get back on that book tomorrow!" And she promised she was going to. I believe she did.

I like to think I inspired her. But she also inspired me.

So tomorrow, I'll be working on my book. And my photos. And my blogs. And transcribing an interview, scanning some old photos…

Tomorrow has arms wide open, full of possibility, don't you know?

  DSC_0081

I hope you've had a great week that included at least a few minutes of doing something you've dreamed about, something that makes your imagination soar and your heart beat faster.

If not, there's still time. What are you waiting for?

"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out."

~ Robert J. Collier

 

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32 responses to “Tenacity”

  1. Walker Thornton Avatar

    Well, I’m not surprised that you feel a bit overwhelmed… you have a lot of roles.
    We do that don’t we…out of necessity or desire and the balancing act can be draining. The best think we can do, I think, is to accept what can be accomplished in any single day and let go of the rest.
    You appear to have a wonderful balance in your morning walks and time with the dogs. I have no doubt that the book will get written. I await it!

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  2. Hilary Avatar

    That’s a lot to tackle on a regular basis and a lot of hats to wear. And yet, you wear them well. A few days off have a way of being filled with so many things.
    I can remember when my kids were little, I’d have projects I’d want to get at and I erroneously thought that the start of the school year would be the best time because I had a certain number of hours to myself, each day. Wrong.
    Then I’d think that summer would be best because I didn’t have to stick to the schedule of getting kidlets to and from school and other commitments. Wrong.
    I’d cycle through those hopes for years. Of course some projects gone done along the way but free time still gets filled up with everyday things. You and your tenacity will get to it all in good time. 🙂
    Those photos are lovely and illustrate your post perfectly.

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  3. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Hilary, your comment had me smiling because I did the exact same thing when the kids were in school!! And I must have gotten some of the projects done because the undone ones started piling up about the time I started working during the summer.
    Makes me wish I had become a teacher, making money AND having summers off! lol
     

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  4. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    That's my philosophy… do what I can and not worry about the rest. But then I realize it's been a couple of weeks since I looked at my book and the stress level starts rising! My biggest issue is priorities, I believe. And focus. Without losing balance. Ah, it's walk on a tightrope. Thanks for having confidence in my book!

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  5. Suldog Avatar

    Great advice at the end there. I always believe that, in my heart, but it often escapes my head. Thanks for putting it back for the time being.
    Some simple advice, but it’s something I find helpful. I always actually make a list of what I want (or need) to accomplish in any one day, then I prioritize that list and start on number one as soon as I’m finished writing the list. I’m not saying I always get everything done (more often than not, I don’t) but actually writing it out, rather than just having the thoughts in your head, sometimes helps.
    (I suspect you might do this, anyway, but if not, it couldn’t hurt.)

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  6. Barbara Shallue Avatar

     
    Oh, I do, Jim, I do. I have lists all over the place, and even started keeping track of them in a notebook. But then I compile one for each day and do what I can. I think what gets me is that sometimes one item leads to a few more, or something that should take a few minutes ends up taking two hours. Those are the things that weigh me down. Sigh. But I definitely love the sensation of scratching something off of my list! Yay!
     

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  7. cynthia eloise Avatar

    great post and so like many of our lives. sounds like the class was very inspiring. sometimes it’s not the teacher leading the class but the individuals taking the class that we gain the most inspiration and support.

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  8. JillsyGirl Studio Avatar

    your plate is always overflowing. it’s like the old saying goes “our eyes are bigger than our stomachs”. me thinks you should leave a portion of the plate empty enough to still be able to see the design underneath! 😉
    that last photo rocks!

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  9. lime Avatar

    i just wanted to stop by to say thank you for visiting my place and offering some words of support. much appreciated.
    lovely pictures and a timely bit of encouragement in your post here too 🙂

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  10. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thank you for hopping over. I'll keep on eye on your blog for updates and continue to wish for the best!

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  11. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    I know, I know. I just want to do it all, but I'm starting to wonder about that old 'where there's a will, there's a way' thing. But I do leave a portion of the plate empty enough to see the design… I think that's one reason I don't accomplish as much as I'd like to. (Thank you!)
     

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  12. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thanks, Cyndee. It was a great class – so much information, and some I know I'll never use, but enough that I think quite a bit I can use might have stuck! I was relieved I wasn't the only non-super-professional photographer there.

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  13. beth Avatar

    oh those wide open armed days…..unfortunately they tend to end with me not even being close to finishing all that my mind thought/assumed would get accomplished…..so i wish you the best of luck.
    and oh writing a book…..WOW…i’m so impressed that you’re doing that. it’s on my list of things to do, but i just can’t seem to grasp a subject that feels right 😦
    xo

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  14. lisleman Avatar

    I’m sure you are not writing this post to seek advice. I actually did learn once but maybe not early enough that women (maybe men too?) like to vent and are not looking for an answer or advice, just someone to listen.
    So this may make no sense what so ever but know I listened.
    People ponder if the glass is half full or half empty. Who cares. It will look completely different in a different size glass. – lisleman 2012

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  15. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    You are so wise, Bill. I love that last bit about a different size glass! Thank you for listening!

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  16. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thanks for the good wishes. I feel like I accomplished a lot, but still just made a dent in my list! Good luck on your book! I have the opposite problem… too many ideas so I have trouble finishing one before starting another!

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  17. Wolf Pascoe Avatar

    Next time we get together, let’s talk about our lists. I won’t laugh at you if you don’t laugh at me!

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  18. Lady Fi Avatar

    That last photo is glorious!
    Sometimes I think that having too much to do, too many ambitions all at the same time, stop us from focusing. Perhaps it’s better to focus on one thing at a time – or just leave the lists behind and enjoy life.

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  19. pauline Avatar

    You already ARE all those things – to struggle against any of them is to stall yourself. So don’t worry abut piddling hours away. Do what you do, do the creative parts when you’re inspired and the mundane when you aren’t and enjoy doing it all. Otherwise, what’s the point? And you are an inspiration – you’ve made me more aware of weekly “sweets,” you write with feeling, and your photos are wonderful. Go and conquer and report back 😉

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  20. Shrinky Avatar

    Gosh Barbara, you are certainly an inspiration to ME! I have absolutely no idea at all how you manage to juggle all those roles, yet you do – somehow. Each morning I rise full of great intention, and by mid-afternoon half the day I planned has inexplicably frittered away – gahhhhhh. “There is always tomorrow” has become my mantra!

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  21. Gail Avatar

    I keep trying to post on your blogspot blog and my words disappear after hitting publish. Dangit!
    Anyway, very nice post. Loved the analogy of the clinging grapevine. I know what you mean about having good intentions to barrel through the day and get things done, yet the little nagging things get my attention somehow, and before I know it the day is gone.
    Hope you have a great weekend! Love the photo of the Indian blanket flower. Stunning!!

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  22. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    I'm pretty sure I'd win in a list competition, but I'm really not proud of that, and I would be greatly relieved if you actually have more than me!! And I swear I wouldn't laugh!!
     

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  23. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Well, dangit, I wonder what's going on with my blogger blog? I'll have to check it out. Thanks for letting me know! I know exactly what you mean about those little nagging things. They're the ones that suck up the most of my time, too. Thank you for stopping by and I hope you have a beautiful weekend!

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  24. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Oh, it's mine, too!! I have to believe I'll have all the time I need the next day to accomplish everything I didn't get to or I'd go nuts! "Frittered away" is a great way to describe how I spend most of my time. lol
     

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  25. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Oh, Pauline, I think you just won my Favorite Comment award! Thanks for your encouragement and support and inspiration!!
     

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  26. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Sometimes I think the same thing, but then find it impossible to focus on one thing for very long. The best I can do is try to make sure whatever I'm doing at any given time, I give my full focus, even if it's only for a few minutes. Too often my mind wanders ahead or back and I have to pull it back to the present moment. 
    There are days I leave the lists behind. I think that's why I get so behind! lol
     

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  27. Kathy Avatar

    So, you got lots of advice and as I read through all of them, I’m not sure what to add. For myself, what I’ve discovered about my creative and monetary pursuits is that I can do two things really well, more than that makes me feel like I’m not being productive. That said, we’re not all of us the same, and some of us can spin a lot of plates in the air. I’ll bet if you schedule between 10-15 minutes to re-read all of the replies to this post, that you will find some clues to your organizational style and how you can make that work to your advantage. By your own admission, you “… find it impossible to focus on one thing for very long.” Rather than see that as a negative, make that work for you. There are a few other nuggets here, including some inspirational comments for you. Pull out what you need and keep working. You’re not done yet, girl!

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  28. silverneurotic Avatar

    Having so many “Hats” more or less boils down to time management…there needs to be a specific time for everything…I’m not great at this, I’m always amazed at people who seeming cram in ten days worth of stuff into a single day, and still manage to have time out to relax.

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  29. Kathy Avatar

    You know, when I was teaching for all of those years, back in one of my other lives, I lived by my daily lesson planner. It was kind of nice that my day was so organizationally divided up into 5 blocks of 45 minute classes – or however many classes I taught in a day. In that first year or so away from a classroom, I used that “time management model” when I was stitching together my outside-of-the-box professional life & it worked. Now, farther along, I use a variation of that: those tiny yellow post it notes? Or, a scrap of paper that I can paperclip onto my day planner and on that piece of paper are the 3 or 4 things I want to get done that day. Like you, I’m amazed at the people who can cram 10 (or more) things into a single day…I’d rather look at what I can accomplish in a week.

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  30. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    My day is actually pretty organized – a typical day, anyway. But with non- 9 to 5 jobs, there are rarely any typical days. I just maintain the routine the best I can. And with kids (or computer work or even dogs, as I'm sure you know) there are always surprises or glitches. So being flexible comes in handy! I accomplish a lot each day, but also allow myself the freedom to stop and photograph a beautiful flower or run outside to catch the sunset or enjoy the full moon or call a friend just to check on them. 
    If I only had another 24 hours each day, though…

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  31. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    I make sure I take time to relax and "breathe" each day – I'd probably get more done if I didn't, but I'd go nuts and explode! So I keep relaxing as a priority, for my sanity!

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