Long Hollow

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Realtor, writer, blogger in Austin, TX

What Do You Worry About?

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The older I get, the less I worry. 

That doesn't mean I don't worry. Just that I'm beginning to realize worry doesn't help anything.

Prayer does, so the older I get, the more I pray…. that God will show me what I can do to help the situation, and if there's nothing I can do, to help me step back and let him take care of things.

…And that no matter what, I never lose hope.

When I do worry, it's about my kids… our finances… Tom's health… um… I think that's it. Next to those, nothing else seems to matter that much.
Oh, I pray about much more than that… issues that my friends and family are dealing with… social problems in the world… but I'm talking about that knotted up, gray-cloud-of-despair, helpless type of worry.

I recently came across this list that author F. Scott Fitzgerald gave to his 11-year-old daughter, Scottie, in 1933.  

Things to worry about:

Worry about courage
Worry about cleanliness
Worry about efficiency
Worry about horsemanship

Things not to worry about: 

Don’t worry about popular opinion
Don’t worry about dolls
Don’t worry about the past
Don’t worry about the future
Don’t worry about growing up
Don’t worry about anybody getting ahead of you
Don’t worry about triumph
Don’t worry about failure unless it comes through your own fault
Don’t worry about mosquitoes
Don’t worry about flies
Don’t worry about insects in general
Don’t worry about parents
Don’t worry about boys
Don’t worry about disappointments
Don’t worry about pleasures
Don’t worry about satisfactions

Things to think about: 

What am I really aiming at? 
How good am I really in comparison to my contemporaries in regard to:

(a) Scholarship
(b) Do I really understand about people and am I able to get along with them? 
(c) Am I trying to make my body a useful instrument or am I neglecting it? 

With dearest love,

Daddy


I don't agree with him on all of the items (horsemanship?), but I do on quite a few (especially the "nots") and like that he divided it between things we have control over and things we don't.
I wish I'd had the forethought to give my kids a list like this when they were younger. 

They probably wouldn't have listened to me, though.

I wonder if F. Scott's daughter listened to him? Probably not. We all seem to have to learn the hard way, right?

So… what do you worry about? 

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28 responses to “What Do You Worry About?”

  1. Lady Fi Avatar
    Lady Fi

    Love that list… amazing how many young girls worry about insects (my niece or my daughter’s friends)…
    I worry about my kids, my health and sometimes finances.

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  2. Barbara Shallue Avatar
    Barbara Shallue

    Growing up near Houston, I truly hated cockroaches, but I'm not sure if I ever worried about them. lol Sounds like you and I worry about very similar things!

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  3. Julia Avatar
    Julia

    I need to copy this list for my kids. And perhaps myself too! I may update it a little too! 🙂 But the heart of it is great. I worry about too many things right now. I am in the process of letting go. It is a big on-going process everyday.

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  4. Walker Thornton Avatar
    Walker Thornton

    I think, like most mothers, I worry about my children. I worry about finances and occasionally I worry about growing old alone. But, I agree with you that at a certain point, we learn to let go of certain things.

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  5. Barbara Shallue Avatar
    Barbara Shallue

    It's very liberating when I take action on things I can do something about and stop worrying about things I can't. I wish I did it more often!
     

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  6. Barbara Shallue Avatar
    Barbara Shallue

    It's still an on-going thing for me, too, Julia! One day at a time…

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  7. Gail Avatar
    Gail

    Goodness, I used to worry about EVERYTHING! As I approached 50, I realized what a waste of energy it was. Like you, I worry much less and pray more. Not enough, mind you, but I do pray more than I once did. God has given me more opportunities lately to exercise that muscle. 🙂
    My worries lately are my eldest son, health, and finances. Although we’re doing okay financially, this is the first time I have been jobless in 23 years. I kind of like the freedom, but I do miss the money. Put my resume on Monster yesterday and my heart nearly leapt out of my chest!

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  8. Barbara Shallue Avatar
    Barbara Shallue

    Oh, I'm by nature a worrier and used to become literally frozen by it! I guess there's something about getting older, experiencing life's ups and downs and realizing you've made it through them that helps put them in perspective. I like to think so, anyway.
    Should I wish you good luck on finding a job? Or keep my fingers crossed you don't? I'll just make a wish that it works out for the absolute best for you!
     

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  9. lisleman Avatar
    lisleman

    “probably wouldn’t have listened” – you got that right. I guess a parent always worries a little about they kids forever, but now that they are adults that worry has drop to about nothing. You get older and they start worrying about you. I agree with you on the list and once again the comment section is as good as the post.

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  10. Barbara Shallue Avatar
    Barbara Shallue

    So true about our kids starting to worry about us… I think mine have already started!! lol
     

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  11. cynthia eloise Avatar
    cynthia eloise

    i always worry about the kids when they are having a hard time, or when they suffer setbacks or disappointments. not aging so much anymore but how i will age. but how neat the house is or if the furniture matches, how does my hair look, that kind of stuff isn’t worth the effort.

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  12. Barbara Shallue Avatar
    Barbara Shallue

    It's really not, is it? I wish I had always known that!

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  13. brian miller Avatar
    brian miller

    i def worry about my boys probably more than anything…there is not much else i worry about

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  14. Suldog Avatar
    Suldog

    I’m with you. I worry less and less as I grow older. And my prayers, unless they’re for others, tend to be more and more full of just “Thanks!” rather than requests.

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  15. Otto von Münchow Avatar
    Otto von Münchow

    Like you I tend to not worry about much. I guess it does come with age. At times I have worried about my kids, but right now they are all doing fine. My concern nowadays is time, I seem to by running out all the time. I wouldn’t say I am worried, but I just have to much I want to accomplish on a regular basis. Not good of course. I like the list made by Fitzgerald, except for the worries. I wouldn’t want my kids worry about any of them.

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  16. Barbara Shallue Avatar
    Barbara Shallue

    I admit I agree with you. "Worry" isn't the word I would have chosen – they're just things to focus on, perhaps. And boy do I understand about having so much I want to accomplish each day. I try not to get swept away!

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  17. Barbara Shallue Avatar
    Barbara Shallue

    Amen to that! I'm even learning how to say 'thanks' for the seemingly crappy things that happen… finally realizing there are blessings hidden within those as well. 

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  18. Barbara Shallue Avatar
    Barbara Shallue

    I think once you have kids… and the responsibility for those kids… you realize everything else pales in comparison.
     

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  19. dianne Avatar
    dianne

    I pretty much worry about my son, my granddaughter, money and healthcare
    not even my actual health but the horror it is to get decent care
    I find I let so much more slide as I get older
    the days go faster and time is more precious
    wonderful post

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  20. pauline Avatar
    pauline

    I think about all the things you mention, but I don’t know that I worry about them anymore. I used to, to no avail, as you pointed out. Once it dawned on me that worry was a waste of time and that I felt better when I helped where I could and let go where I couldn’t, my worrying days (and nights) ceased to torture me. What a great question – points out to me how little I think about what I think!

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  21. Barbara Shallue Avatar
    Barbara Shallue

    That's such a good point… to me these are good things to think about, but not necessarily "worry" about.

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  22. Barbara Shallue Avatar
    Barbara Shallue

    Oh, the days do go by so fast, don't they? It makes it easy to let things slide!

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  23. Wolf Pascoe Avatar
    Wolf Pascoe

    It’s a great relief I don’t worry so much about what people think of me anymore. Now I worry what they think of my writing.

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  24. Barbara Shallue Avatar
    Barbara Shallue

    I've even learned not to worry about that (most of the time, anyway!)
    I probably should worry a little more, now that I think about it. lol

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  25. Agnes Avatar
    Agnes

    Yeah I too wonder if she listened to him. With age comes wisdom, but it’s hard to pass it down to the young I guess. In the end, wisdom is ‘earned’ through experience, one can’t just give it to another, I think.

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  26. Suldog Avatar
    Suldog

    Me, too. I try to say something along the lines of “I don’t always readily see the good, but I know it’s there. Thanks for everything!”
    Most of the time, I really mean it 🙂

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  27. Barbara Shallue Avatar
    Barbara Shallue

    If we say something enough, we usually come to believe it. lol

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  28. Barbara Shallue Avatar
    Barbara Shallue

    I think you're right. That's so tough to accept when you're a mom!!

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