Saturday morning my dad finally got an answer to his prayers: He went to be with the Lord.

In his honor, I'm reposting this letter I wrote to him here a few years ago…

 

Me and daddy colorado

 

Dear Daddy,

All of my life, you've been right here, holding my hand – loose when I needed loose, tight when I needed tight – but never letting go.

I disappointed you at times over the years (Oh, yes I did and you know it!) but you never stopped believing in me, never stopped wanting the best for me or wanting me to be the best I could be.

You believed in me even when I stopped believing in myself. 

You taught me what unconditional love really means. Even when I knew I had disappointed you…

(Remember when I hit that parked truck with my brand new Toyota Celica, my graduation present from you and Mama? Remember when I decided to flush my scholarship down the drain and drop out of college to work in a chemical plant?)

…I never once, not once, doubted your love.

You never said a word, never chewed me out for being stupid and irresponsible (even though I deserved it) but just kept holding my hand, offering whatever help and support I would accept.

Daddy and me colorado 62

 

Like you, I love reading, watching a good Western, history, traveling, kitschy tourist spots, pecans, rocks, and sweating in the sun. I inherited your silliness, impulsiveness, teasing/mean streak, and flash-fire temper.

I hope I also inherited your generosity, loyalty, and tenderness.


Me and daddy 60ish

 

With Mama, you raised me to be confident, courageous and independent, willing to test myself, push myself, try new things, truly believing I could do anything I wanted to do because you believed it.

You raised me the same as you raised the boys, with no discernible difference related to gender. No matter what I did, or still do, your pride is palpable. It's a fuel that keeps me chasing my old dreams and discovering new ones.


My 17th bday with daddy

 

Memories tied to you are the treasure of my life…

…Thank you for my sunflower garden, my orange and green painted bedroom, introducing me to ping-pong, Black Beauty, Leon Uris, James Michener and National Geographic.

Thank you for taking beginner square dance lessons with me and letting me chop down that tree when I was sixteen. 

Thanks for teaching me to drive, to play tennis, and for trying to teach me to bowl and play golf. Thanks for shuttling me and my friends to the movies and basketball tournaments, and for finding some of them jobs at your chemical plant.


Chopped that one down 75

 

You never thought you were special – you still don't – but let me assure you, you are, and I thank God every day for making you my Daddy and giving me (and now my kids) so much time here on Earth with you.

I look forward to the day I again feel your hug and see the twinkle in your eye, but for now, I carry them in my heart.

Rest in peace, dear Daddy. You deserve it.

I love you.


Daddy with kids houston zoo July 92

 

He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. 

~Clarence Budington Kelland


DSC_0654 (Medium)

 

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. 

~Ruth E. Renkel

 

Daddy

 

I love my father as the stars — he's a bright shining example and a happy twinkling in my heart.

~Terri Guillemets

Thank you all for the many prayers you've offered for him and my family this past year. Now please continue to keep my mom in your prayers as she faces life without him by her side after almost 64 years together.

I'm grateful I've been able to spend so much time with Daddy this past year, even if a lot of it was in ERs, hospital rooms, and doctor's offices.

I'm especially grateful that I was able to tell him I love him (and hear him say it back to me) on the telephone Friday.

Don't ever take the time you have with loved ones for granted or miss a chance to say "I love you!"


Wm-0015

 Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.  ~Gloria Naylor

 

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32 responses to “Dear Daddy”

  1. Ms. A Avatar

    Oh, Barbara, I’m so sorry. God bless him. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  2. Agnes Avatar

    I am so sorry to hear Barbara. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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  3. Jennifer Richardson Avatar

    oh Barbara.
    Crying.
    Feeling your love and loss.
    Thank you for sharing the beauty
    of this wonderful man’s life.
    It’s the stuff that dreams are made of,
    his little girls love for him.
    Honored to have read,
    Jennifer

    Like

  4. jeanne stone Avatar

    This is a beautiful tribute to your father, and I know that he sees and loves this letter. Blessings to you in your loss, and hope that you go on feeling the spirit of your dear daddy every single day! Thinking of you at this time!

    Like

  5. Donna Avatar
    Donna

    Barbara, what beautiful words. Prayers for you and your family.

    Like

  6. L² Avatar

    I am crying my eyes out and yet feel full of happiness for all the great memories you both shared. My thoughts and prayers are out there for you, your mom, and your family.
    ~ L²

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  7. lisleman Avatar

    I’m sitting here wondering what words to write. The words in my comment don’t matter. The helpful thing is for you to feel a bit of support from it. I’ve learned the hard way that even when we see and know it’s coming, death is always a shock.
    Wonderful letter, wonderful memories.
    God bless you and your family with strength and support.

    Like

  8. Debbie Gruber Avatar

    What a beautiful letter, so sorry for your loss . . .

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  9. lisa Avatar

    Oh Barbara, I am so, so very sorry.
    Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
    May your wonderful memories of this special man bring you comfort.

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  10. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thank you so much, Bill. Your words are perfect!
    Barbara Shallue

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  11. Otto von Münchow Avatar

    I am sorry about your loss. Your father must have been a wonderful human being. And even if he is not walking among his family any longer, he will always live on in your memories. This post is a lovely tribute to your father.

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  12. Lady Fi Avatar

    What a beautiful tribute.

    Like

  13. Hilary Avatar

    My heart aches for you and yours. Such a beautiful tribute to a beautiful man, a beautiful love, and beautiful memories. I’m sending hugs your way. You and your family are in my very best thoughts.

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  14. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thank you, sweet Hilary!
     

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  15. Walker Thornton Avatar

    Barbara,
    It’s a lovely tribute. So glad you were in a place to be able to spend so much time with him–I imagine it was a comfort for him.

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  16. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Those memories of time spent with him, especially over the last year, are a special blessing. I'm grateful I was able to be with them so much. I know it will help as time goes on. Thank you, Walker!
     

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  17. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thank you, Fiona! He deserves more.
     

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  18. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thank you, Otto. I do still feel him, alive and well, in my heart and my memories.
     

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  19. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thank you so much, Lisa. My memories help, as well as all of the thoughts and prayers from friends like you.
     

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  20. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thank you so much, Debbie.
     

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  21. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Lynn, that's exactly how I've felt all week. Sadness mingled with happiness. I feel so blessed that I had him for so long, and have great memories that keep him alive in my heart. Thank you, sweet friend!
     

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  22. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Donna, thank you. I know you know how I feel. You and your family are still in my prayers, too.
     

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  23. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thank you, Jeanne. I'm grateful I was able to spend so much time with him this past year, with the knowledge that each goodbye might be my last. It helped me not take a single minute for granted. But it still hurts.
     

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  24. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thank you, Jeanne. I'm grateful I was able to spend so much time with him this past year, with the knowledge that each goodbye might be my last. It helped me not take a single minute for granted. But it still hurts.
     

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  25. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thank you, Kathy. 
     

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  26. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thank you, Agnes!
     

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  27. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thank you so much. All of the prayers have truly helped us get through this week.
     

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  28. Scott Gray Avatar

    What an awesome tribute to a life well lived. He and your mother will always live on in the legacy they have en-graphed in you and then you on to your children and the generations to come. Fara and I mentor young couples and I especially encourage young men to take hold of and grasp the responsibility of the legacy to come. In today’s world of selfish and “for the now” living, it is refreshing to see such an awesome model of intentional selfless and simple godly living and parenting. Thanks for sharing. I’d love to have permission to share this with young men. God Bless you, and if I may, I love you, — Scott. 1 Corinthians 16:13 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Eph. 5:15&16 15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. — He did.

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  29. Jennifer Richardson Avatar

    Touches my heart deeply every time I read it
    and thank you so much for loving
    and living
    out loud
    and in color
    ….it helps nudge the life
    into our living:)
    -Jennifer

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  30. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thank you for taking the time to read it again, sweet Jennifer.
     

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  31. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Scott, I'm so honored that you want to use this in your and Fara's work. Please do! I've always felt Daddy was special, even though he never thought so himself, and this is a perfect way to share him with others. Thank you! I love you, too, dear friend of mine! Bless you and Fara for the work you are doing!
     

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