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I spotted it when I stepped out onto the front porch one morning this past week, in between trips to Houston. I noticed the fossil first, thinking it had fallen from its spot on the windowsill above the bench where it now rested.

Then I realized it had been placed there to hold down a handwritten note.

"…I wanted to drop you a note and let you know you and your family are in my prayers…" 

It was from my longtime friend George. He has been making multiple trips from Houston to San Angelo to see his mother-in-law, who they discovered had lung cancer earlier this summer, and tries to vary it by taking different routes.

He left the note on Sunday. On Monday, a few hours after I found the note, his mother-in-law passed away. On Tuesday, while I said my last goodbye to my Daddy, he was on his way to San Angelo again, to help his wife say goodbye to her mother.

Considering my house is a mile down a dirt road, off of a small highway that twists and turns and isn't a shortcut between San Angelo and Houston by any means, it's a huge honor that he took the time to go that way to ease my pain over losing my dad, especially when he knew I wasn't home.

A few years ago in a post about friendship, I spoke of it as a garden that needs to be watered. Ever since then, we've referred to our infrequent emails as 'watering the garden'. 

So on the back of the note he sketched a flower and added these words: "You are a daisy in my garden…May God continue to shine through you and give you Peace…Can you feel the water?"

All those years ago, when we worked on the high school yearbook together and planned to go sky-diving, we never imagined that one day our friendship would include these days of mourning each other's losses. And I'm glad we didn't.

However, I am so very grateful we're still friends, flowers in each other's gardens.

(Please keep George, his wife, and their family in your prayers!)


A good friend is a connection to life –

a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. 

~Lois Wyse

 

Here are a few other bittersweets from my past week…

 

Sunday: joining with your siblings to support your mom after your father's passing; a safe journey home after a heartbreaking weekend  



50s daddy, mama, buster, brenda

Monday: a day to immerse yourself in images from your father's life that will become a slideshow memorial; a safe journey back to your childhood home with two of your kids, and the safe arrival of two more

Tuesday: helping your mom prepare for your dad's funeral; an ice chest full of eggs, bacon, and biscuits waiting on your parents' doorstep, courtesy of a friend; a limo driver named Paul, who provides just the right amount of conversation on a tough day; friends who help you mourn your father; "Day is Done" by a solitary trumpet, in honor of your father's service to his country 

 


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Wednesday: breakfast, courtesy of and the friend who left the ice chest full of food on the porch the day before, and your son, who took his Granddaddy's place at the stove; fitting the huge schefflera plant from your Divas and other plants from friends into your car trunk; a safe journey home; Whataburger in LaGrange at sunset with your kids


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Thursday: winning a book you wanted in a contest in your lead generation class; love, in the form of cards, waiting for you in your mailbox

 

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Friday: lunch with new friends/colleagues; your new business cards waiting for you on the front porch; a walk with your puppies at sunset

 

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Saturday: a day at home to catch your breath; your cousin traveling to see your mom and take her to lunch; tiny purple flowers shaped like Easter lilies

 

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Sunday: Mass with your kids and hugs from your friends; cleaning and organizing sprees, even if they only make a dent; your husband making it home, safe and sound, after his own long journey to support his brother during a sad time

I hope your week has been full of more sweet!s than bittersweets. Share them here! If nothing else, look around at those you call friends, and give thanks. 

“When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow.” 

 ~ Shauna Niequist

 

 

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27 responses to “Bittersweet”

  1. LaTonya Avatar

    Sad to hear your loss, Barbara. I can’t imagine. I’m a daddy’s girl, too. Holding you and your family in prayer.

    Like

  2. lisleman Avatar

    This post of yours really shows the important support family and friends can bring. all the best.

    Like

  3. Ms. A Avatar

    That unexpected note grabbed hold of my heart and brought tears to my eyes and now I can’t think to type.

    Like

  4. Helene Cohen Bludman Avatar
    Helene Cohen Bludman

    So sorry for your loss, Barbara. Thoughts are with you. How lovely that you have a friend like George who has been there for you all these years. That is a very special blessing.

    Like

  5. Gail Avatar

    Your strength and wisdom find a way to shine through even the toughest of times. You are an inspiration to many. May God continue to give to you in abundance. Btw, LOVE those new business cards!

    Like

  6. lisa Avatar

    What a very special friend this is, Barbara.

    Like

  7. Jennifer Richardson Avatar

    I love Shauna Niequist
    and I love you
    and am so grateful for every drop of grace
    that rains down on you during this achy time.
    Big love and prayers still rising,
    Jennifer

    Like

  8. Nancy Williamson Avatar

    You certainly have some very special friends and they used their hearts to minister to you….These kind of friends are definitely a gift to be treasured….I will continue to pray for you….

    Like

  9. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thank you, Nancy. I pray every day to be the kind of friend I've been blessed with. I really don't measure up at all!
     

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  10. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thank you so much, Jennifer. I've only just become acquainted with Shauna. Love her words!
     

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  11. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    I'm not sure about the strength and wisdom or inspiration thing on my part, but I'm grateful for the friends who inspire, encourage, and lift me up (like you!) Thank you, Gail!
     

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  12. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thank you, Helene. Yes, George's friendship truly is a special blessing! Even if we don't talk often, I know he's there, and I hope I'm the same kind of friend for him.
     

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  13. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Now you know how I felt when I saw it!
     

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  14. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    It's something I need to remember. I fall short way too often.
     

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  15. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thank you so much, LaTonya!
     

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  16. Otto von Münchow Avatar

    What a special friend. We could all learn something from George about being attentive and encouraging.

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  17. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    I agree! I'm going to try to be more like him.
     

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  18. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    I agree! I'm going to try to be more like him.
     

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  19. Lady Fi Avatar

    What a lovely gesture.

    Like

  20. Suldog Avatar

    I haven’t been very good at watering our garden, Barbara. I didn’t know of your Dad’s passing until just now, and I’m terribly sorry to have not offered my condolences earlier.
    Requiescat in pace. And God bless you and yours.

    Like

  21. Pauline Avatar

    I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. Losing a parent is never easy, especially when you shared love the way you and your father did. Know I am thinking of you and wishing you peace of mind and heart.
    You are able to find sweets among the bitter – that’s a good thing.

    Like

  22. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Pauline, I feel so blessed that he was my father and that I had him to hug for so long. I miss him, but he deserves this rest. Thank you!
     

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  23. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thank you, Jim. I understand! I'm way behind in all of my friends' blogs, too. Thanks for coming around and for your blessings and sweet words.
     

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  24. Wolf Pascoe Avatar

    Such a week. I’ve heard taps at a funeral, a sad, sweet thing, and lovely that the service remembers.

    Like

  25. Barbara Shallue Avatar
  26. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    “Day is done.” A perfect send-off and cue to rest.

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