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On Monday my middle son turned 26. He celebrated by taking the day off from work, sleeping in, and then relaxing on the back porch with Belle, reading and drinking his coffee. 

He's definitely a child after my own heart. 

The day started out a rainy one. But by the time Belle and I went for a walk, the sun was fighting for the day and we were blessed with a rainbow.

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Of course, Daniel missed all of that.

He had originally planned to meet his brother for dinner… until both of them realized they would have to fight traffic to do so, with one coming from the north side and the other from the south. 

That's no way to celebrate your birthday.

So, since the rain pushed past and it turned into a gorgeous day, he, TG, and I headed away from traffic into the hill country to Marble Falls, where we celebrated with an early dinner at Doublehorn Brewing Company, which I happened to catch on an episode of Daytripper

Daniel appreciates beer. I love trying new places. TG likes to eat. It was a win-win, all around.

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Later, I made the traditional birthday Cyclops Cookies.  Yum.

(Tom's in Florida visiting his mom and a few brothers. He missed out.)

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I admit that when these two kids moved back home after being mostly gone for a few years, it required quite an adjustment. We had gotten used to, and actually really, really enjoyed, our empty nest. Less laundry, less cooking, more quiet, more, um, freedom.

On top of that, when kids leave, they accumulate stuff. When they move back home, their stuff no longer fits in their old bedrooms.  It kind of overflows into the rest of the house.

But the move home is temporary, so you don't want them to get rid of the stuff. Consequently, my house feels a bit like a warehouse.

The past two years have been a real challenge for me, though, and  having these two kids home has been such a blessing, for me, besides a way for them to save money. Not only do they help out around the house, but they've provided emotional support as I've dealt with my dad's illness and death, my mom's issues, starting a new business, and most recently, dealing with an aging puppy.

When twenty-something kids come home, it's not the same as when they were teenagers. It's more like having roommates. They pay rent and they're expected to pull their weight.

Mine have specific jobs around the house. Plus, without being asked, they help with my mom's laundry, visit her, and help with the dogs. If I have any special requests, they are on it. 

Most important of all these days, they make me laugh.

Your kids are always your kids, of course. You worry about them. You want to give them advice. But if you're lucky, like I've been, they're also now your friends.

When the stuff – or the noise – irritates me, I remember that before I know it, they'll be gone again, only coming home for a day or a few hours every now and then.

So I will ignore the extra boxes, tune out the noise, and cherish these days with them now, before they're just memories.

 

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P.S. Thanks to all of you for your condolensces and prayers for my old puppy Max. I appreciate all of you who say you'll miss him, too. 

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18 responses to “Silver Linings of a Not-So-Empty-Nest”

  1. Jackie Hamby Avatar
    Jackie Hamby

    You are blessed to have such wonderful kids. Thanks for sharing your moments with us.

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  2. Hilary Avatar

    That is so sweet. I know what you mean.. even though I had to be the one who moved out in order to make it an empty nest. 😉 Still when my boys come to visit, at least, I see the men they have become. Sigh.
    Good for you for raising such kind, helpful and compassionate sons. And Belated happy birthday to Daniel.
    And that rainbow is so vibrant. We were so lucky to see a beauty of a rainbow last weekend when both of my boys were here.

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  3. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    This rainbow caught me by surprise – but I guess they always do, and that's part of their beauty! I truly count my blessings that my kids turned out so well, despite me. 🙂 The two living back at home are the youngest – a boy and a girl. The oldest is married and has a house of his own, now, but thank goodness doesn't live too far away anymore.
     

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  4. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Well, they aren't perfect, but they've truly been a blessing to me through all of these things!
     

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  5. lisa Avatar

    You are so fortunate to have such thoughtful children, Barbara, and I am going to guess you had A LOT to do with that. 🙂
    Wishing you a wonderful weekend!

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  6. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    I like to think I did, but I think God just had mercy on me. 🙂 I hope you have a great weekend, Lisa!
     

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  7. lisleman Avatar

    Every family is unique but share common experiences with others. Our youngest has been back since her BS degree. Now she was worked (tough course too) through her MS degree and will hopefully be moving on. She needs to complete a state test. Occupational Therapy – if you are wondering.
    Having her here has benefits. She has added some expenses. Really the biggest issue for me is for her to become self-sufficient. Sure parents miss the kids being little but really we do want them to grow up and be good adults.

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  8. lisleman Avatar

    Oh I forgot to mention – beer – ooh beer

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  9. Lady Fi Avatar

    Such a sweet sweet post! And it looks as if you had a wonderful birthday celebration.

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  10. Wolf Pascoe Avatar

    These are great kids. So glad I met them. Now I just have to get a hold of a couple of those cookies.

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  11. Gail Dixon Avatar

    The birthday celebration sounds wonderful. Glad the two ‘returnees’ are such a blessing. There’s the other kind that is not so much. :/ Bet your house is bulging though!

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  12. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    I do realize I'm really lucky, that it could be a very unpleasant situation. But yes, it is bulging!
     

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  13. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Let me know next time you're in Austin, and I'll make you some!
     

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  14. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    I think it was fun for all of us! 
     

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  15. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    They do add expenses, which is why they have to pay rent. But I totally agree with you on the self-sufficiency issue. That was my biggest concern when they moved back. I moved away from home at 19 (my husband at 18) and couldn't imagine going back, so it required a mental adjustment on my part, for sure. I don't want them to be tooooo comfortable. 
     

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  16. beth Avatar

    you’ve had so much on your plate and it’s wonderful that having your kids home was a blessing…..not a burden. we have also had kids move back home for different time frames and you’re right, they are like roommates. at this stage though, now that they are 23 and almost 27, it’s awful to say, but i really hope they never “need” to live with us again and continue on their own……but they know…we are always here…door wide open and food in the fridge. xo

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  17. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    That's truly how I feel, too. As much as I love having them home and appreciate their help, as their mom my biggest wish is that they are able to move forward on their own and get a break from us! (But come back often to visit, of course!)
     

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