A tiny box in the upper righthand corner of my computer reminds me that today is my mom's 86th birthday. (As if I could forget!)

However, my heart reminds me that she is so much more than those earthly years. She is free from their bonds. I feel her love around me all the time, see her in my face and my actions at times, and still hear her voice… sometimes soothing me or giving me advice … sometimes teasing me and a tad sarcastic … but always, always full of love. 

   Mama and me and tommy 1985

On Mama's 77th birthday, I listed the things she had taught me, and then added to it every year. After her death, I expected Lesson #84 to be the last one. It turns out she is still teaching me, so the list continues. 

When my friend Byron first mentioned a bunch of us traveling to Italy to spend a week with him and his wife after our high school reunion, I balked. First, there was the issue of time away from my business. It's not just a matter of not being around for my clients, but a good portion of my day is spent trying to find new clients to help keep my business alive …because of issue #2: finances. We still have some debt to pay off and a house to finish!

There were just so many other things calling out for the money I would spend on a trip to Italy. 

 But… my mama's lessons came to mind, particularly #41, #58, #70, and #84.

I decided to #30 and just go for it.

 

 

Mama and daddy original

The thing is (Mama's favorite phrase), she and Daddy traveled a lot after we were grown up. They drove the west coast from California to Washington, went on a cruise around the Hawaiian Islands, and visited Canada. They went to Disneyworld, Las Vegas, New York City and a bunch of other cities I don't even remember.

 

81st bday with daddy

 

But Mama always dreamed of going to Switzerland and she never made it there. I'm not sure what kept them from going – probably finances or health concerns – but by NOT going, she gave me Lesson #86: Don't wait for things to be perfect to travel. Just GO!

Thank you, Mama! You were right, once again! It was a fabulous, once-in-a-lifetime trip that I will treasure forever. 

 

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Thank you for all the lessons you gave me, whether intentional or not. You taught more by example than words… just another clue to what a wise woman I was blessed to have as my mother. 

 

Me and mama

 

Without further ado, here's the complete list with links to her previous birthday posts….

Things Mama has taught me…

  1. it's never too late to learn something new
  2. if you have a choice between laughter and tears, choose laughter.
  3. don't let anyone mess with your babies!
  4. only give advice when asked for it (I'm still working on that one)
  5. pray every day
  6. pray some more
  7. reading a good book might not solve your problems, but it's a nice escape from them
  8. bend but never break
  9. some people are just takers
  10. be nice whenever possible, but sometimes nice doesn't cut it
  11. take care of family
  12. we're all individuals – let your kids blossom into themselves, not "mini-me's"
  13. be there
  14. Johnny Weismuller is the best movie Tarzan
  15. don't be in a rush to be older than you are – you're only going to be this age once in your life
  16. if you like something, and you'll use it, and you can afford it, then buy it, or you'll regret it later
  17. quality over quantity
  18. never think "can't"
  19. people will stand in line for a dead skunk if it's free
  20. roll with the punches
  21. have fun
  22. laugh often
  23. believe in yourself
  24. don't let others change who you are
  25. be honest
  26. don't steal
  27. forgive yourself
  28. God loves me
  29. don't judge
  30. just do it!
  31. inside matters more than outside
  32. don't use God's name in vain
  33. you can learn anything if you put your mind to it
  34. you're never too old to dance
  35. it's okay to ask for help
  36. show appreciation and express gratitude
  37. use my manners
  38. consider the source
  39. an office or position of authority should be respected, but the individual in that position has to earn your respect
  40. sleep is good
  41. take advantage of opportunities
  42. keep your eyes open and your wits about you
  43. people aren't always nice
  44. things can't make you happy
  45. use your imagination
  46. just get started and the rest will be easy
  47. don't be intimidated by anyone – we're all the same, all human, we all have strengths and weaknesses
  48. you can love someone even if you don't like them
  49. forgive but don't forget
  50. learn from others' mistakes
  51. there are times for being patient, and time for putting your foot down
  52. speak up
  53. stand up for what you believe in
  54. admit your mistakes and expect others to do the same
  55. persistance pays off
  56. let your kids be kids
  57. love unconditionally
  58. take lots of pictures
  59. kids grow up fast
  60. your kids need a mother, not another friend
  61. pets are family
  62. help others
  63. a sense of humor is essential for sanity and survival
  64. if you look close enough, you can find something to love about everyone
  65. coffee is good anytime
  66. messes can be cleaned up
  67. prayer works
  68. God is strong all the time – let him carry you
  69. if you say you're going to do something, do it
  70. be nice to yourself in case no one else is
  71. you have to show respect to get respect
  72. girls are tough
  73. don't put up with temper tantrums – yours or someone else's
  74. listen to your body – doctors don't know everything
  75. don't say everything you're thinking
  76. asking questions is the best way to learn something
  77. your babies are always your babies (and their babies are your babies, too!)
  78. God is
  79. Just listen. 
  80. people are more important than things
  81. there is a time to help others, and a time to let others help you
  82. God has his reasons, and He will give you whatever strength you need for the road ahead…and never leave you to walk it alone.
  83. smile and show appreciation to those who are willing to help you – they may have it tougher than you in many ways
  84. Appreciate every second you're given, because life is beautiful.
  85. Treasure the people in your life; take advantage of every chance you have to be with them, or to help them, even on days you don't like them.
  86. Don't wait for things to be perfect to travel. Just GO!

   

I did it right...

"All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother." ~Abraham Lincoln

Love you, Mama. Happy birthday, and God bless you!  

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8 responses to “Lesson #86 (Still teaching me! Happy birthday, Mama!)”

  1. Lady Fi Avatar

    A lovely and loving tribute to your dear mother.

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  2. lisleman Avatar

    a list of good advice and ideas. I remember it being posted. Posted every year now that you reminded us. I didn’t notice you kept expanding it. Makes sense to expand it. We can always use more good advice. #19 is a favorite because it sounds like one of the many expressions you hear from people with common sense.

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  3. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    I think that might have been the one that gave me the idea to start a list. It made me laugh when she said it because it's so true! I believe you've mentioned this one as your favorite before. Thanks for reading it again!
     

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  4. Lisa Gordon Avatar

    What a wonderful post this is, Barbara, and such a beautiful tribute to your mom.
    xo.

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  5. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    Thank you, Lisa! xoxo
     

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  6. Otto von Münchow Avatar

    What a fantastic list of advise and things your mother taught you. And what a fantastic mother. Finally, good you got to travel to Italy. I am sure you will never regret it.

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  7. Barbara Shallue Avatar

    No, I will never regret it! I'll be posting about it soon!
     

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